I was young

Youngest one in my class

My parents said, “ I was gifted”

My doctor told them that

Four years old

My first day of pre K

I learned quickly

How to be brave

Kindergarten still four going on five

Our first assignment was given

Poetry, not knowing why

I went home that night

My Dad asked,

“What I was writing and why”

Barely able to see above my brothers desk

An area was made

For me to format

I wrote a few words

None of which rhymed

I was only a small girl

Four going on five

After time my Dad returned

He asked, “what did you learn?”

I showed him my list

He looked away and laughed,

“Where’s the gift?”

He kneeled down to my level

Smelling of booze

And disheveled

Grabbed my pen

Quickly said, “let me write it instead”

He wrote my assignment

My brother

In tow

Not questioning his decision

What did I know?

”Mandy, sit there and listen”

He shouted as I attempted to run from his gaze

“Do what he said” my brother whispered

Then he will go away

Shoes 👠

“Shoes, shoes look at the shoes

Big and small

Yellow, pink and blue

You can stay and shop all day

But please don’t take my shoes away”

He was proud of his words

Reveling in the rhymes

He said, “Mandy tell no one

This is yours not mine”

Another secret I was

Sworn to keep

Little did I realize

This was a contest

Where I had to read

To the entire school

I won 1st place

I felt like a disgrace

A burden for a girl

Who is only four

Learning the world

Not fully able to grasp

What a secret

I had to keep

The weight of my lies to hold

Ran rather deep

Not a big deal to some

If you lived in that environment

You understand

Who you are and who they force you to be

Looks like parallel reality

I was only a girl

Four going on five

When I learned not only poetry

But how to survive-