Lost it.

Lost it all.

Lost my sanity.

Lost my friends.

Lost my voice.

And ha, I’ve lost my ugly smile.

I bet they smile more than ever now.

They laugh at my pain.

They smile at my tears.

And they don’t care.

“Always guard your heart,” I say.

“Never trust until you know you can.”

Just learned from experience honey.

Don’t judge me for it.

“You can judge me when you’re perfect, got it?” I tell them.

They think I want to not trust.

They think I want to not be able to love.

Oh bitch, trust me I want too.

I want and want so hard for me to change.

But I’ve realized if I keep changing myself,

I will just lose myself.

I can’t change others though.

I wish I could.

So much.

That others would stop putting me through so much hurt.

I love them.

But because of them I can’t love myself.

Please someone, change.