I start with the smile, I search that look in their eyes. I come to you, I hug you like a loving child, and tell you how happy I am I have made it this far. But I watch people walk away, untill their absence breaks the chain around my face. And the monstrous things I was hiding away come to face me, but I just welcome them inside of me, without saying a single word or fighting for who I am, I just throw my soul away.

My spirit breaks in pieces and the pieces of my heart, that used to shine bright in the dark, fade into this black sky I see in front of my eyes. At first, I feel like I’d be flying high above the light, I greet the people with my lies, I show them something new, something they want, I laugh, but my heart is emptier than ever, my blood runs cold through my veins and my head starts to spin around. I feel like dying.

Then I grab the knife, wanting to cut the cords that tied my light. But instead of releasing myself from this beautiful lie, I stab the knife into my heart. I feel the pain, but I know I couldn’t live forever in this way. It feels like I am so far away from everything I had and I am watching this stranger fading away from milions of miles away.

And in the end, I fall on the ground, bleeding on the inside, but what kills me is this regret I feel deep down, knowing that I gave me away for these moments of fame.

And this is how I ended with this life…