I don’t like you

not like that

I decided that a while ago

I liked you

a lot

but then I stopped

and now I like him

but still

there’s this softness between us

I used to think

that maybe you liked me back

and I still wonder if you still do

but why would that matter to me

I don’t like you anymore

not like that

you’re still great

we’re still kind of friends

like we’ve been

but I don’t have a crush on you

I don’t want to hold your hand

or kiss you

or look into your eyes

I want to do that with him

I think

but with him

I know I don’t have a chance

a small part of me thinks I do

but that’s the delusional part of me

I’m pretty sure he’s with her

they’re together

he doesn’t think about me

we’ve never even talked to each other

so why would he?

it was a dumb idea

but you?

I don’t know

there might still be a chance

I still think you’re sweet

and funny

I still think your eyes

your big blue eyes

are gorgeous

and your smile still makes me smile

but I don’t like you

not like that

there’s a softness between us

a softness I feel yesterday

when we were doing karaoke

and looked you in the eyes

as I sang along

oblivious of what was happening

at the time

but now I’ve realized

maybe that was a moment

a moment between us

a moment of softness

a connection

but I still don’t like you

I like him

he’s so tall

and pretty

and that smile is lethal

and the way he adjusts his glasses

but no

he’s with her

maybe

they’re rumors, I guess

but still

he might be with her

he might not be all mine

he never was mine

so I should stop

that’s probably a good idea

there’s nothing between us

the delusional part of me might think so

but there isn’t

it’s one sided

there’s no mutual love

no softness from him

he doesn’t smile at me

his face doesn’t light up when he sees me

when he looks at me

no, he doesn’t look at me

it’s just me

but with you?

it might not be

I don’t like you

not like that

but I still think there’s something between us

there’s something there

something we both have wanted to explore

but we haven’t

and it just kinda faded away from me

but it’s back now

it’s still there

that softness?

that kindness?

that love?

that could be a thing

an actual thing

a thing between us

I may not like you like that

but there’s still warmth

you still make me smile

you make me laugh

you make me feel happy

isn’t that what love is?

this isn’t love

but it could be

maybe

only if you think so too

maybe one day I’ll like you again

like, like you

and maybe one day you’ll like me back

maybe you already do

who knows?

but that could be something

that could mean something

more than just

warmth and

kindness and

softness

more than that