I wait outside their door, patiently, for them to open it. Rain patters around, dropping down onto me making sure that I am soaked to the bone because I deserve it they say. Pitter patter, the sound of the rain goes echoing throughout this deserted street and not my heartbeat. I knock again on their door, patiently for their answer, but I know somewhere deep down they won’t. Not after everything we have been through.

There isn’t any other sound apart from the rain, as everyone else is taking shelter in a home. However, my home isn’t opening for me as the door remains closed on my face. A car does go pass but it disappears quickly like a snap. Then a horn screamed in rage but I’m sure it was my own voice, though my throat doesn’t feel sore. I close my eyes counting to ten to reassure myself that he will answer the door because he loves me.

Finally, I give up after five more minutes as the truth is an answer that is not going to come my way, and it hurts almost as if my heart is also going to give up on me, on my life because it knows he isn’t worth it for me to continue to be here. These thoughts crowd my head and I turn myself away from the door to get myself drowning in the tears from the heaven, not my own. Then a sound of clanking metal catches on my ears but I don’t make anything out of it. The metal scratches my thoughts forcing me to walk away from here, a street that I won’t walk down again as it will only bring me back memories of us.

__

_Leave, he’s not worth it. _I take the steps down from the porch where the rain continues to fall upon my cold body. Winter rain makes my skin blue but it is also making my heart blue, from the hurt I feel. The bruises from knowing I don’t deserve someone like him scars me, because I deserve so much better than him if he is going to keep on hurting me. __

__

__

“Liana?” My name from his voice that separates his lips apart makes me stand frozen while the whole world around me continues to go on, rain carries on. The pitter patter still echoes and now it has reached my mind blocking his voice out. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m sorry because I’ve never been in a relationship before. I don’t know how it works. I don’t know love.”

I turn to face him, to look him in the eyes. His cold frozen pale blue eyes look back at me, hurt as well because he has hurt me. This realisation relaxes me a little but his excuse is not good enough for me. Surely, someone other than his parents taught him how to love like a friend? But then again, I haven’t met any of his friends, no he isn’t lonely. He has other friends, I just haven’t met them yet because maybe he thinks it’s too early to tell whether our relationship is serious or not. But I have dreamt our future already, as every girl does. The dream marriage, kids and a pet. The family I dreamt since we met and somehow I fear this future is breaking apart because of one small mistake. Anything small or big can have a huge impact on your future, and with us it is him not knowing how a relationship works and the way to treat a girl in order to keep her. “Didn’t your parents teach you love, Jackson? Didn’t they say what you should and shouldn’t do?” I ask.

“No,” he says turning his face away from me as if he is ashamed on what he is about to say next. “My parents didn’t love each other, they never did. I grew up pretty much without a father because one day he walked out and didn’t come back. My mother abused herself because she called herself not good enough. They didn’t teach me love because they didn’t know it themselves.”

There is a pause, which leaves me to feel sorry for him, feel bad because his life growing up was all by himself. But it doesn’t mean that he should hit me to make me feel physically hurt, and as well he has hurt me emotionally. He hasn’t told me anything about his family or past making me wonder why he felt like it should’ve been a secret from me. “It’s cause,” he continues, “I’ve never met anyone like you before. You’re so nice, kind, and perfect and it scares me because I. I think I love you.”

“I love you too, Jackson. You should be grateful for that, because now you have me,” I say trying to break a smile within hoping to shatter away the clouds that pours down rain. The pitter patter still echoing and not let the sun pass to shine.

There is a crack that parts his mouth and his lips move to form a half smile before asking me, “am I lucky to have someone like you?”

“Yes, because I am not leaving you.” I watch Jackson bowing his head down and hear the tears that have managed to part ways with him, before I rush up to him so that I can hug him. He embraces me back in his arms, where it is warm and somehow I can feel the rain lifting away to bring the sun back from the dead. We stay in this embrace for awhile, to reassure ourselves.

“I love you,” I say again making sure he knows that I am destined to be with someone like him, that we are meant to happen as it is written in the stars and nothing could defeat us because we have got through our own battle with each other. I love him so much more than my dog, he is family to me and nothing can make me change my mind.

“I love you too,” he says. “And I am so grateful to have someone like you in my life.”