They asked me, “Why did you do it?”. I said, “I fell in love even though I knew the consequences of falling for him would destroy me”

From the very first minute, I had fallen in love. 

I had fallen in love when he had said my name for the very first time.

I had fallen in love when he said “I kinda like you too”

I had fallen in love when he said he loved me on the third day.

I had fallen in love the moment he grasped my soul with those inquisitive brown eyes of his

I think I fell in love the moment I saw him laughing from a distance for the first time

I fell in love when he almost broke his back trying to wave at me from inside the boys washroom

I think I fell in love when I could no longer stand his absence.

I fell in love.

I fell in love despite knowing what would happen.

I knew it would all crumble down, when I told him I liked him

I knew it would all crush me when it was over

I knew it was the start of everything but I also knew it was the end of everything.

When I went on the trip and he didn't seem to miss me

When I told him I missed him and he said “chill lmao”

I knew when my best friend got dumped that the same would happen to me

He was all I wanted but I don't think it was the same for him

I could tell he loved me but I'm not quite sure he loved me the same way I loved him.

Remember the very first time we kissed?

You stared into my bewildered eyes and calmed me down by closing your eyes and going for it.

I ask myself  “Why did it have to end?” even though I know very well why it had to.

Remember the very last day we saw each other before you broke up with me over text?

You hugged me.

You interlocked your hands on my stomach and rested your head on my head. 

Your friends pulled you away but I knew that it was all you wanted to do.

Remember how you stared at our interlocked hands?

I think I knew what would happen at that moment.

I could tell from the way you refused to come to school for “jackshit” 

I think I knew it would be over when we never talked during those short three months.

We ve never had a serious conversation before.

Sure “love can be silent”.

I agree.

But our love wasn't supposed to be that silent.

I think our friends knew more about our relationship than we did. 

I can't stop crying. 

Im studying chemistry and all I can think of is 

“How could he be so distracted by me? What is he even thinking about?”

Why would you keep my hopes up by telling my friends that You'd marry me ‘hopefully’?

You promise me forever with all your kisses and affectionate touches and break the promise by saying you're getting too distracted?

You know what really hurts? 

When you told my friends to tell me that you cheated.

I could see through it.

Look, you're the one true person I've ever met in my whole life. 

Why don't you believe me?

And for that i was ready to wait for you. 

But you said no. 

I would've done anything for you if you'd asked me to.

You said i didn't know you but i can tell when you're lying

You called me stupid but you didn't know how smart I was.

Coward. You idiot. I loved you more than you could have ever realised.

I've had relationships before but you're the first person I've ever felt like this for before.

You give up way too easily. Grow a backbone.

I agree with you by the way.

I should've done it first.

We were getting too distracted. 

It was never going to work out anyways. 

Lost in a blur of glitter and roses, 

Suddenly all the love songs were about you

Trust me. 

There's only me, there's only you

Now all the heartbreak songs remind me of you

God, I feel so stupid relating to the ppl who seemed so pathetic when they got dumped

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