- (This focuses on me a couple of years ago when I was in my sophomore year of high school and really starting to figure and question some things about myself and what was most likely going through my moms head, so this is in my moms perspective)

- (I wasn’t going by Emerson at that time, but I’d rather not put my dead, deadname (I went thru one other name besides my birth that is now my preferred middle name before settling on this one) in this for my mental health)

- (Also remember how I mentioned my issues with my friends? My previous group of friends before them had done the same thing and that’s like the biggest reason that made me leave them. So it feels like I’m falling into the same pattern)

- (The newer friends mentioned towards the end are my current group of friends. Yes they live 30-45 min away from me which makes it hard to get together with them and that’s also what makes me feel like I’m losing them and that I need to make new friends that live in the same city as me)

It hurts me to see my daughter, oh come on, I know that they’d prefer to be called child not daughter. I just can’t seem to let go of the fact my eldest is growing up. They’re not connecting to people as much and they had to let their three year long best friends go as they are put them last. I’m not even sure if they’d actually be accepting of Emerson’s new life.

It looks like they are starting to give up. They won’t put themself out there as much as they used to. They’re not letting people in. It’s really worrisome. How will they find their people if they won’t let people show themselves to them. Emerson won’t get places if they won’t at least try hanging out with new people.

I’m really worried with how they are starting to shut people out. They don’t make friends the same way. I’m glad they met their newer friends when they did, but I don’t think it will last long as they don’t live in the same city as us. They live 30-45 min away.

I feel what they are going through because that was my high school as well. They really need to make new connections.