“Come on!”

Jake pulled my arm and jumped up and down before he let go and ran over to the edge of the cliff which was partly walled off.

“Woah! Daniel look at the water from here!”

I stopped walking and took a couple steps back.

“Uhh I think I’ll stay back here.”

“What? Come on man it’s awesome!”

He looked back at me with bright eyes and a smile which spread across his whole face.

“There’s a rock wall you aren’t going to fall off. Plus the waters not going to reach out and grab you. You’ll be fine. Look!”

Jake hopped up on top of the bricks and extended his arms.

“Look! See? I’m fine.”

I chuckled and reluctantly started walking over. There was a heavy breeze which almost blew my hat off, I went to grab it but when I looked up Jake had lost his footing trying to balance. I quickly reached my hand out and grabbed his arm, pulling him back over the rocks.

“Damn that was close.”

I was in complete shock.

“You almost fell off a cliff and all you say is ‘Damn that was close’?”

He shrugged and got back on the rocks.

“I guess.”

“Dude get down!”

“I’m fine.”

He reached into his pocket and grabbed his phone, waving me closer.

“Here lets take a picture.”

He crouched on the wall to get me in the frame, we both smiled when he took the photo, Jake’s smile staying on his face as mine faded. He stood back up and extended his arm, going to take a selfie. He took one step to the side but the rock he stepped on was not well secured. The rocks cracked and grinder against each other as it fell away. Jake slipped and I went to grab him again but he was too far, he started yelling and I was speechless. I ran up to the rocks and looked over the edge, unlike normal cliffs there was not a gradual slope down. The cliff we were on was pointing out from the mountain making it a straight drop. It was worse seeing my best friend fall into it, the drop felt like forever. I felt sick just looking at the water move. I hate the ocean, there’s so many scary things in there, so many things we don’t know about. It goes so far, so deep, it’s taken so many lives. But I won’t let it take another. I walked into the gap that the rocks had made after they had fallen. I looked down again, the vertigo was insane. My breathing got heavier, my chest got heavier, my head hurt, my heart hurt. My legs got shaky and my hands felt clammy. I wanted to pass out I wanted to run. I wanted to wake up from this sick nightmare. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes as I shook out my arms, and yelled. The loudest I had ever yelled before. My throat aches and it hurt my own head.

thump.

I took a step closer. Think about his family, his wife, his daughters.

thump.

I can do this. I need to do this, he’s my best friend. I told Monica he’d come back in one piece.

thump.

I opened my eyes. I took another step as I inhaled.

silence.

Air flew past my ears, my face, it was cold, salty, dry. The fall seemed long but not this long. My whole body ached but there was no going back. My stomach twisted and turned.

SPLASH.

My back stung as I hit the water, I opened my eyes. It hurt but I needed to power through for Jake. For my best friend. My brother. My soulmate. I swam down, it was hard, I hadn’t swam since I was little. The water felt thick, thicker than it had ever been before. It was so dark, I hate it so much I want to just accept my fate and lay here forever.

There.

Bubbles were coming up and I could see a light. I quickly swam through what felt like glue. I reached my arm out. My lungs hurt. My eyes stung. I can’t. Skin. I can. I tightened my grip on the person and pulled them up to the surface with me. I had taken the longest breath I ever had before. There was a helicopter above us. I could hear people yelling but they sounded so far. I had Jake and that’s all that mattered. I looked around me. Nothing but water, the vast open sea. My breathing got heavier.

No.

I can’t do this. My chest tightened. My stomach twisted until it could twist anymore. My vision was spinning. My head was spinning. My thoughts were overwhelming.

Please.

It’s too much. I can’t. I need Jake to say something. I need someone to tell me it’s okay. I need someone to smile at me and give me the comfort that I desire. I need my best friend to laugh and say “look, it will be okay.”

Stop.

Everything stopped moving. My body shut down. It was as if someone had tied a fifty pound weight onto my foot. I tried to breathe. It hurt. I could feel the water swishing in my lungs, flowing down my throat. I needed to cough, I couldn’t. More water. It never stopped. I wanted it to stop. I wanted it all to stop.

And stop it did.

“We are gathered here today to commemorate Daniel Lawson who drowned during a road trip trying saving his best friend. Jake.. would you like to say any words?”

No more smiles, no more laughter, no more comfort. Because no, it will not be okay.