Oh my love, how he strives to be an herbivore, though on occasion gives into his carnivorous ways and hates himself into a guilt ridden oblivion. I must confess, his immense compassion for the animal kingdom fills my heart with joy and does more than any aphrodisiac can offer. I wish to create the perfect recipe to show my love and satiate his taste buds once and for all, a variation on an ancient dish, The Dove Heart.

Considered by the ancient Greeks, the ultimate food of star crossed lovers and the ideal offer to the goddess of love, Aphrodite. As the legend foretold, one would search high and low for a blue eyed dove, and pierce it’s heart whilst making an oath to Aphrodite herself, to be true to no other than the one you love. Once removing the organ, bathe it in olive oil, soak it in red wines, then sear it for a few minutes and bon appétit, your bloody romantic meal awaits.

So given that my sweetheart is so gallantly attempting the vegan life style, I will be creative in making this dish as none bird as veganly possible. My first thought was to boil a beet, but alas my beau is a beet hater. My other option was to use a large tomato, but they’re far too acidic, and frankly I wanted more of a challenge. So I thought, he’s hungry for meat but loves animals.... hmmm...

And eureka! I found my creative solution!

I’ll cut out my own heart and give it to him. How sweet would that be? Literally and figuratively, well not literally it’s probably quite salty but you get the idea.

The problem was, how would I cut out my own heart and still be able to cook it. Well, there is that ancient recipe. I wondered if I could find an incantation to Aphrodite, perhaps she would allow me to make this all happen. I mean she is the goddess of love after all, and love is magical and strange.

I went to my local Witchery Bookstore and stumbled across a wonderfully archaic looking heap of parchment, in it was an invocation to Aphrodite. I was thrilled, but when I inquired for a price, it was well beyond my checking and savings. So I pondered, since I am cooking my heart anyway, it won’t matter that I take a loan out. So I did just that.

I went home, set out all the pieces for my ritual, I typed into google translate Ancient Greek into English, and summoned the goddess of love.

There she appeared before me, a radiant figure with piercing eyes and long flowing locks. She was heavenly to behold. I fell to the ground and asked.

Oh great Goddess, may I please be able cut out my own heart and cook it for the one I love, so that he may finally be at peace with himself and know just how much I love him so.