I apologize.

**Why?**

I apologize

for not being able to hold eye contact

or finish the technique

or do anything right.

I apologize

for the stutter I get

or the wincing I randomly do

or the pained smile I smile after I am defeated.

**You’re being stupid. **

I apologize

for being so rude

and for not speaking when spoken to.

I apologize

for being stupid.

And for thinking I blended in.

I apologize

because I’m so different.

**You’re not. You just want attention.**

****

****

I apologize

for the little moments when I shake

or when I close my eyes

or when I breath unsteadily

or when I can’t continue

or when I fall.

I apologize

for being incapable.

**Incapable?**

****

****

I apologize

for thinking that for once

for one little moment,

I could be a good different.

I apologize

for thinking I was right in the head.

**And I apologize for taking your word for it. **

**——————**

****

****

This was a kind of vent. I’ve been struggling with figuring out what’s up with my mind. I know that I have a multitude of mental illnesses or whatever you call it, but I’m so afraid to tell anyone. I know I have ADHD or ADD as well as like two other assumed things. This poem was only me talking.