Different
I apologize.
Why?
I apologize for not being able to hold eye contact or finish the technique or do anything right. I apologize for the stutter I get or the wincing I randomly do or the pained smile I smile after I am defeated.
**You’re being stupid. **
I apologize
for being so rude
and for not speaking when spoken to.
I apologize
for being stupid.
And for thinking I blended in.
I apologize
because I’m so different.
You’re not. You just want attention.
**** I apologize for the little moments when I shake or when I close my eyes or when I breath unsteadily or when I can’t continue or when I fall. I apologize for being incapable.
Incapable?
I apologize
for thinking that for once
for one little moment,
I could be a good different.
I apologize
for thinking I was right in the head.
**And I apologize for taking your word for it. **
——————
This was a kind of vent. I’ve been struggling with figuring out what’s up with my mind. I know that I have a multitude of mental illnesses or whatever you call it, but I’m so afraid to tell anyone. I know I have ADHD or ADD as well as like two other assumed things. This poem was only me talking.
