I breathed. My lungs filled with freezing cold air, the type that hurts to breathe. My chest was in agony. My ribs felt broken and my throat felt raw. I was beyond cold.

A blurred face drifted above me. With each short, cold breath it sharpened and became clearer. A woman. She looked worried.

“Oh thank god. Hello? Hello, are you ok? I’ve called an ambulance, it’s coming. Just stay still”

I smiled. Outside or inside, I wasn’t sure. She cared so deeply for me, this stranger.

“Gosh you’re so pale, I’m going to find something else to keep you warm. I’ll be right back”

I tried to tell her I was fine, my body was broken, but what did that matter, really. I was happy, and I wanted her to know, but the words wouldn’t come.

I lay still. I could hear water, gently lapping at the edge of a bank. I stared straight ahead in to the night sky. Such a deep, dark blue. Billions of stars shone, so bright, so perfectly. They whispered to me “now you know”.

I could feel them, every single one of them, for now I knew them again. I had always known them, I had just forgotten them. How foolish of me, to forget such good friends.

The woman returned with a raincoat.

“It’s all I could find in the car, I’m so sorry. At least it’s something”

As she said this, she placed the rubber coat over me, and carefully tucked it in round my edges, as closely as she dared. It felt strange to have edges again, to have an end and a beginning to myself.

I felt nothing but love for her in that moment. What an act of love it is to care for another person.

“Oh god. Hurry up, hurry up. Where is this fucking ambulance” she was stressed. Talking to herself. I could feel it, I could feel every part of her, her panic, her desperation, her responsibility. I wanted to tell her everything was ok, I was ok, I was more than ok, but the words wouldn’t come.

A ringing came, a trill. I could feel each tone through separate parts of my body. I could feel the vibrations. It tickled. It made me want to laugh, but I knew I couldn’t. I knew my body wouldn’t work the way it used to any more.

The woman answered her phone. “Hello. Where have you been? I’ve been trying to call you for ages, you never answer your phone. What is the point of having it?! No, I am not ok, I’ve just pulled someone out of a lake! She veered off the road. Yes, I’m serious! I saw it happening. She stopped breathing but she’s back. I gave her mouth to mouth, yeah it worked! I don’t know! Yes of course I’ve called an ambulance! Yes, please. Please come. Yes, bring blankets and some hot water. I’ll send you a pin now. Ok, see you soon”.

I wondered who it was she was talking too. Girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/ husband/sister/brother/mother/father/friend/enemy/ex-lover/current lover/cousin/aunt/uncle/colleague/teacher. I thought about all the connections we have. All the people we meet, all the people we know. All the people we’ve always known. Brothers in this life who were friends in others. Husbands who were cousins and teachers who were lovers. It was all an intricate, ever changing pattern. We were all connected over and over again, learning and growing and experiencing and changing and evolving, over and over and over again.

The woman was above me again, looking concerned. She touched my face carefully, feeling for warmth.

“Oh fuck” She pulled her damp shirt off and laid it around my head, trying in vain to keep the warmth in.

“You’re going to be ok, you’re going to be ok, you’re going to be ok.” she smiled at me and looked up nervously, listening for the sound of sirens and looking for the blue lights.

I knew I was going to be ok. I had never felt more ok. What an angel she was for wanting me to be ok so meaningfully, so fully. She knelt down bedside me, near my head, wearing just a wet vest, wet jeans, wet shoes and wet socks. She showered me with nervous smiles and encouraging words, occasionally feeling me for warmth or breath.

I knew her. Not this time round. But I had known her before, and I would know her again. Sometime soon I would be repaying this kindness. How and when? Only the stars knew that.

My body began to vibrate again, more intensely - the siren was loud. I heard it veer off the road and onto the gravel nearby.

“Oh thank god” She stood to greet them.

From the edges of my eyes I saw the paramedics jump from the ambulance and run towards me. A red car swooped in and pulled up behind it. Time slowed. As I rose, I saw a man grab blankets from the car and run towards her, and my body. I watched as they all swarmed around me. They became smaller and smaller as I watched her cry and I watched him comfort her. As I rose, I was warm again, and I knew all was well.