After a while it becomes easy. Step forward before the guard can knock into the dirt. Hold your head high, and for the love of whatever flavor of being you believe in do not be afraid. To feel fear meant you let mortality seep into your bones, and you could not enjoy the complexity of that crisis now. Sultan was lucky really. He might be smaller than the creatures he is thrown at, but he has a barely sharp sword and the illusion of godhood.

Each battle ends with cheers, and Sultan smiles and plays up the victory for the crowd. Something tells him that the his biggest battle will be keeping those cheers loud. Even if he is exhausted he doesn’t drop to the ground in relief like he once did. There, the sound of the metal door sliding up, and he turns to it. They are chanting something, Sultan is almost happy he can’t understand them.

After two years of the same thing Sultan thought he knew what to expect. Creatures slain, aliens murdered, all while he slowly lost bits of his humanity. Nowadays it felt like sand slipping through his fingers. It was when he came face to face with another human he felt the last grain fall.

He is young, with tan skin and terrified eyes. The sword in his grasp is held all wrong and he is talking to him. It isn’t English, and he can’t understand him, and it makes it easier. He lunges forward and knocks the child onto his back.

Being mortal meant you had to live by a certain set of morals. Being a god gave you a new set. Sultan didn’t like to think about it, but he knows gods only feel pity for humans. The small creatures that break easier than glass and fall to pieces more beautifully than any pottery could. The better gods (he was certainly not one of them) feel pity for the small things and show them mercy.

After so long it has become easy to forget. The red blood dripping off his sword distantly reminds Sultan of something. A part of him, that one with a fluttering heart and unsure swings.

There are no cheers, and his handlers tree something before another gate opens and monster steps into the arena. There is no humanity behind its eyes, and for a moment it reminds Sultan that there is none behind his and it is not because he is god. No, he has a feeling that whatever look was in his eyes it was only akin to the creature’s in front of him.