“You’re not John.” Says a man as he walks into a padded room.

“John had some complications, so I’ll be the new therapist.” The therapist gestured for the man to sit down.

“Your file says that you’re a serial stalker.”

“I wouldn’t say serial, it was just one woman over the span of a few months.”

Would you care to expand on that?”

“It’s like that one song by Your Favorite Martian. I was stalking a guys mom, I mean she was smoking hot. I didn’t see anything wrong with that.”

“Yet you ended up here.”

“I gathered that.” The man crosses his arms and looks away. “How did you get in here exactly.”

“A guy saw me, and I knocked him out. I’m Irish, so I couldn’t just leave him there. I took him to the hospital and made sure he got better. I invited him to a friend’s party as a way of saying sorry, but he tried getting me arrested anyway. I had to spill my story and now I’m here.” The therapist checks his watch. “We’ve got time. What brought you to do this?”

“Why do I gotta tell you? John knew why, isn’t it in the file?” “It is, but I want to hear you say it.” The man stands up and walks to the door. “Well too bad.” He opens the door and promptly storms out.