The calendar was ending June,

With rainbow flags so widely strewn.

In Hell below, with wagging chins

Crowed the Seven Deadly Sins.

Lust, Sloth, Gluttony, Wrath, Greed

And Envy seemed to take the lead,

They screeched and argued without end

Enraged at the success of their friend.

“Unfair,” muttered Sloth, “I face but spurn!

You’re celebrated, when’s my turn?”

Boomed Gluttony, “I know your pain!

Pride gets a month, I’ve no domain!”

“Ha!” spat Greed, “Is that a joke?”

You’re popular with all the folk!”

“Every festivity of the human race,

Is centred around a stuffing of the face!”

“You’re one to talk!” moaned Lust as well,

“For you, Christmas is pretty swell!”

“YES!” roared Wrath, “HUMAN WANT GIFT!

Then Lust said, “Yes, they got the drift,”

Said Greed, “Hypocrite, I have to say.

What’s Valentine’s, if not your day?”

“Undeniably true,” Gluttony expressed,

So let’s review, who comes off best?”

“Lust and Gluttony and Greed

All have their times, more than they need,

Meanwhile Sloth and Wrath and I

Are unrequited!” Envy sighed.

“Wait a moment...” wondered Pride,

“Wrath is really glorified!

In human stories, conflict reigns,

And angry heroes suffer pains!”

“And thinking on,” Lust scratched his head,

“The humans love to lie in bed.

Sloth must carry quite a might,

They worship him every night!”

“Only Envy is abated,

Without a purpose, uncelebrated!”

All the Sins but Envy crowed

But on his face a smile showed:

“I think you’ll find, if you consider again,

I’m actually the most dominant Sin.”

“Rubbish!” growled the rabble, aghast,

“Prove it, or just admit that you’re daft!”

Envy coughed and said “It’s true,

You haven’t noticed, but I’ve power over you.

You see, since we started this conversation,

You’ve all been envious of the others’ situation!”

One by one the penny dropped,

As each saw they’d been bested, topped.

The Sins jaws dropped, each hit the floor,

While Envy smirked and said some more:

“Sorry Pride, for stealing your thunder,

But I couldn’t resist - you’re torn asunder!

And now your ego’s have all been straightened,

Let’s get back to work. Hail Satan.”