Dear Fabiola,

You just think your so funny, don’t you? I arrived at the airport just fine. Thank you for the first class tickets, they were really worth it. I entered the cab you had assigned for me and we went to the docks. Following your instructions I entered boat of the nice cab driver so he would take me to the awesome luxury on-sea hotel for the extended weekend holiday you had planned for me. Supposedly you told me that I was gonna enjoy some time with other random people. I want you to know I did not laugh at what you did. Why did you bring Tommy and Luca too? The next time I see you you’ll regret it.

Dear Amy,

I don’t know what you’re talking about. We haven’t spoken in two months. Run. Leave. I don’t think this is right.