Draft 1 (edits requested)

My head hurt and my heart hurts. I can't remember the last time I had a decent meal. I am vaguely annoyed at chance or fate or destiny, or whatever you want to call it. Anyway, I am so fucking annoyed I can barely speak! First, I get doomed to this sick half life and now I have to marry a prince. And of course we're going to ignore the fact that I am 300 years older than him. What will happen when they notice I'm not aging. Whatever, its fine. I can do what Hades wants. Maybe I can consult another diety. Hmm... which one? Dionisus sounds good but he's really only into revelry. I mean, he's good for a beer but nothing else. I could do persephne... never mind, I have a grudge with her. She gets to live half in life and half in death and still have all her feeling.

I think I'll speak to Hell. Yes, half dead, hates the living, don't think she's ever had a partner and I think I can get to her realm. I just have to find the rainbow bridge. Which is... a problem. That's going to be difficult. I might be able to find the wanderer, or maybe my dog could help. "Riley, come here." My dog trotted over to me and tilted his head, shaggy fur brushed again my leg. "You know the bifrost?" I signed. He nodded. "You want go?" He bobbed and tail wagged. "Thanks, ready?" I asked and he said yes. "Ok." I started walking toward the door, then turned back. I was going to have to pack clothes even if I didn't need food. I huffed. I guess I'm leaving later. Never the less, I left and was soon conversing the Queen of the peacful dead.

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