The Wanderer
Everything I write here is for fun! Comment if you want!
The Wanderer
Everything I write here is for fun! Comment if you want!
Everything I write here is for fun! Comment if you want!
Everything I write here is for fun! Comment if you want!
"I asked you to protect her, not train her!" "Yeah, but that's not me and you know it. Why would you have brought her here if yih wanted her safe. A christian atmosphere this is not." Throughing his hands in the air, the priest stomped over to me. "All right monk, do whatever you want but she's your now. I'm reporting her dead to the capital. This is not the princess we wanted." "OK." They shrugged, "You can do that if you want." The princess set down her staff and wanderered over as the man left. "What was that about?" "We need you name changed. Also, you're not goin to marry the Berdainian." "What? Why?" "You've been disowned." And with that, she was left standing in the courtyard, alone.
I woke up. Sitting next to me was a bible. It was burnt and torn. Runes were written in to it, I assumed, by me. Next to it was the shambles of a bottle that once held milk. Its edges were burnished with flicks of blood, drying. Sitting in front of my was a collection of humans. Their remains were scattered about in the shape of a tire. Everything felt wrong. I satred in horror, my hand lifting to touch my lips. I took a breath and smelled the iron tang of blood. My hand left my mouth stained with red. I licked. It was sticky and stale. Sticking my tongue out I grouped to get it off. Of course, that only made it worse. I stiffened and swollowed. I felt my fangs emerge. I don't think I'd had them before but they seemed right at home. I hated this. I hated every last inch of it but my emotions were begining to fade. I ate them all. Every last one. I burned the book and grabbed the glass, looking for more. I howled to the moon in joy and ecstacy. I couldn't remember feeling this happy. It didn't matter how I got here. All that mattered was that I didn't want to leave. All that mattered was that I was finally free.
"Never trust a survivor unless you know what they did to survive." reading the quote my heart jolts. I remember my friends and their horrified faces. My throat tightens. It had been so close. I had done so much yet it was never enough. My shoulders sag and I think about just how true that quote is. I am the one you should be wary of. I lied and cheated and wanted to kill. I chose myself over my family. I did it to survive but it is still a part of me. I wouldn't trust myself and no one else should either. Yet, I don't tell a soul. I walk like I don't want to break the bones of... anyone... just anyone. I just want to hurt something, to make them pay, for everything. Years. Its been years. Friends come and go. The new ones don't know what I've done, where I've been and they care about me. I don't want that to break... I don't want that... But, its there: the lie, creeping up on them until they know the truth. I see fresh faces in my minds eye: betrayed, distrustful, scared, desperate, their whole world turned upside down. "Never trust a survivor until you know what they did to survive." Or maybe, just don't trust anyone.
My head hurt and my heart hurts. I can't remember the last time I had a decent meal. I am vaguely annoyed at chance or fate or destiny, or whatever you want to call it. Anyway, I am so fucking annoyed I can barely speak! First, I get doomed to this sick half life and now I have to marry a prince. And of course we're going to ignore the fact that I am 300 years older than him. What will happen when they notice I'm not aging. Whatever, its fine. I can do what Hades wants. Maybe I can consult another diety. Hmm... which one? Dionisus sounds good but he's really only into revelry. I mean, he's good for a beer but nothing else. I could do persephne... never mind, I have a grudge with her. She gets to live half in life and half in death and still have all her feeling. I think I'll speak to Hell. Yes, half dead, hates the living, don't think she's ever had a partner and I think I can get to her realm. I just have to find the rainbow bridge. Which is... a problem. That's going to be difficult. I might be able to find the wanderer, or maybe my dog could help. "Riley, come here." My dog trotted over to me and tilted his head, shaggy fur brushed again my leg. "You know the bifrost?" I signed. He nodded. "You want go?" He bobbed and tail wagged. "Thanks, ready?" I asked and he said yes. "Ok." I started walking toward the door, then turned back. I was going to have to pack clothes even if I didn't need food. I huffed. I guess I'm leaving later. Never the less, I left and was soon conversing the Queen of the peacful dead.
Today is the day I change. I'm so excited. I'm getting my hair cut! I'm so excited! I'm sorry, I know I'm saying it again but I am! For the first time in my life I am going to look like myself. I will have hair that sticks up in all directions and doesn't look like a girl's. It's going to be amazing! I want to look like you can't tell my gender. I want people to be so confused they come up to me and ask. Then I have the chance to explain. To explain that I'm not a girl or a boy. I'm neither, something in between and if they ask what that means I can walk away or just tell them to look it up. I just really need someone to ask, just once. Just once I need someone to ask and not assume, to care instead of judge and if they don't understand that's ok. I just hope I don't have to be the same person I've always been: the girl who hates the world because no one knows any better than to use she/her.
I see a knife blade pull accross the table toward me. I imagined its bloody side soaking my throat in new found glee. "No... " I whisper, but it's too late. I close my eyes and see the bodies of cell mates scattered and torn. "Don't... " but it did. I hear a scraping. It sends shivers up my spine. I open my eyes. My hand trembles, poised above my wrist. "Don't..." I whisper, but it does. _I am the last one to die, I think. At least I _deserved it. I pull the blade accross my wrist. I wince, but before I can turn back the blade is in my other hand and coming toward my uncut artery. I feel a sense of warmth dripping down through my finger tips. Losing control, this second cut is not as clean. It becomes a twisting stab as my arms start failing. I end the night with one question echoing in my head: what went wrong? It doesn't matter any longer. I'm all gone.
Leaves falling fast Summer's gone, we must dash Bring your friends and hide your stash Set a'drift and hoist your mast
Winter's nigh, the fire's cast Snow is falling in a flash Teeth of wolves begin to gnash Halloween's begun at last
Fairies, globlins gather near Its time to fill these woods with fear
Twisting, whisling, dancing rain Thunder fills the woods with pain
Witches, its time to cast your sphear Hide and fear, the ghosts are here