When i was younger

I was naive enough to believe that if i wanted something enough

opportunity would fall into your lap

as i grew up i worked hard

to get the best scholarships

win all of the competitions presented

get scouted by as many people as posible

When hardships presented themselves

I worked past them

Nothing stoped me

When life gives you lemons…

I pushed myself to the point of exhaustion

Always moving forward, never looking back

My enery sapped

my spirits drained

I wandered through the years as a ghost

Making my way through the motions

of being

smart, charming, witty

every thing i needed to be

And when i questioned my purpose

i pushed myself harder

Assuring myself that clarity would come in the future

Overcompensating my lack of motivation for a steing worth ethic and “natural born talent”

But soon every coveted position was filled

I had to question why i was even doing what i was doing

Why I had spent years of my life cooped up looking for the next thing.

I had wasted my youth

wasted my teenage years

looking towards a future I didnt even want.

how can i redem myself from this pitiful existence?

I am to old to start again

To tired to try

What do i do?

What do i do?

What do i do?

I dont know what to do.