(not a story)

You said you were there for me

Now I see what you really meant

a second choice i've always been

And you chose her

You left me when I was vulnerable

but shedding tears is not an option

I feel nothing

Nothing

Nothing

It took me forever to write this

or so forever it felt

long enough for me to find another

who isn't so perfect

but is perfect to me

I Love You

are the words he says to me

and

It's okay

is what he assures me

to my never ending apologizing

To my fear of being left

To my fear of people

To my fear of feeling nothing

I have been relieved of such stress

Told that it was me who held such choices

and me who could finally be

The zoo

the animals

the funny fish

expanding fish

puffer fish was it?

I never see the two of you in the same room

Just joking...

But I had never gone to the zoo

with a friend

or someone even more than a friend

Never allowed to until now

You apologize for your siblings

but they're just siblings

young and a little special

I love you

And with a meaning

I had not known mere months before

I may sound like a teenager trying to find

the meaning behind somethings

I cannot seem to name

But just venting I will be

Criticizing

another fear

but I have no care

in what used to control me