As I stared into the eyes of the person I once loved, every ounce of my affection slowly melted away. I looked in his eyes and no longer saw the future, just the anger and confusion of all decisions and mistakes. His voice was unrecognizable, and his embrace felt detached and unwelcome. The tears falling, the anxiety rising, words with no sympathy. This was it; this was the end.

The phone fell from my hand to the floor. The words still being processed in my mind. "No, Not him, Anyone but him." My scream echoed. It filled the halls and rooms of the home we used to share as children. Arms wrapping around to comfort me, They just felt so suffocating. How could you leave us, How could you do what you did knowing what you would leave behind. The pain shot through my body as if all my nerves synced with my emotions. How Could You Leave Like That?

Just like rain clouds, I can't hold them in. They roll down my cheeks and wash away all the hurt and pain. Such sweet relief I let out a whimper and more flow out. This is what I needed a brand-new start.

I watch him walk towards me, hands in his pockets and a disappointed look on his face. "There is something I have to tell you" he says. The words rolled off his tongue with little hesitation. I think in the back of my mind "Is this it? Is this really the end?" Before he can even open his mouth and say the words he practiced over and over in the bathroom mirror. I place my hand on his cheek, smile wholeheartedly while our souls speak for us. "I know I say. It's okay." I speak. I give him one last kiss and turn to walk away. I think to myself should I look back is there more to this story? But I keep walking forward into the unknown of our untangled futures and whisper to myself. "Farewell, my almost lover."

From bottles of beer and liquor to bottles of formula and breastmilk. From late nights in car rides blasting music of our generation to lullabies and late nights with little faces that stare at us with the purest form of love. We sat around the picnic table laughing and sighing at the little feet running around us. And just like that we were in the next era of our lives, Raising the next generation.

I did it, I finally gave up trying to be who you wanted me to be. I gave up happiness, I gave up freedom, I gave up memories, I even had to give up learning who I wanted to be.  Now that I can be my own person and have my own say in my life you want to walk away. So again, I had to suppress the emotions to not upset you. the worst part... I was just trying to be what you wanted!