Leopards never change their spots

And you can’t teach an old dog new tricks

But I don’t hold my breath until you text me back

And my chest doesn’t ache when I wake up in the morning

I still cry to the same songs

And forget to put on sunscreen

But I don’t hang out with people who make me tired anymore

And now I stay quiet when your name comes up

I get angry

Just as angry as always

And I still fe...

I used to watch the wooden statues at church and swear I could catch them moving. That if I looked hard enough, focused my eyes on their faces and hands, some motion could be detected there. I wanted a sign. A blessing. Some indication that the God I was praying to saw me and that things were okay. That I was good and I was special and elicited such a miracle as making a statue move.

Even now as I...

What’s worse than it being over

before it began?

Between strangers and brothers

by fate’s selfish hand

To know I might have loved you

You could be my family

But taken, fast,

trapped in moments past

Is anything that would ever be....

I’m not afraid of silence.

There’s a comfort in it.

A pause, a breath.

It never bothered me before.

Silence with you is a black hole,

a dreadful waiting,

a trip to the DMV.

Silence with you is an unheard question,

a glass half full.

A ticking clock at 3:00 a.m.

Let me rest.

I swear I’ll fill it,

I’ll ramble nothings

I know you’ll hate.

Anything to run from it.

Your blank stare,

your c...

I watched an old man in the library

Who dressed the same way that I do.

I wondered what books he checked out

If he enjoyed my favorite books, too.

I spoke to a man at the gym

Who wore the same shoes as me.

He said he bought the same New Balances for thirty years

And it’s a future of mine I can see.

I used to scoff when my dad played the Beatles

But I shuffle them mindlessly now.

The same songs ...

October mornings,

The breeze carries resting leaves

and scattered rain.

I open the window to take it in.

The nights are cold,

colder in the passing days,

But the window stays open.

I layer blankets and cabin socks.

The morning breeze begins to chill me,

But I embrace it, breathe it in,

Let my lungs fill with sweet memories.

The wood creaks, the wind whistles,

The chill settles.

The window st...

You told me you liked me because I was

Someone New.

Verbatim.

I’m not sure how I thought that was a compliment, but

It gave me time to feel my novelty wear off.

Like cheap gold jewelry,

Tarnished and green,

Disposed of.

Sometimes I think you’re determined to be bored of me.

Too young, too naive.

I wear my mother’s high heels,

I curl my hair

But I’m only really pretty when you’re high.

You’r...

People always ask me what it was like.

Like I could recount it like a year abroad. Parties, dinners, touring the countryside, meeting the locals. A retreat. A vacation.

I realize that to them, I might as well have been vacationing.

Sure, they know it was difficult. They know to thank their veterans, that I’ve done a great service for my country. They fly the flag and take off their hats and off...

We watched the sailboats in the bay

floating aimlessly, helplessly

Beckoning to the call of the elements.

I watched the tide crashing on the rocky shore,

Listened to the sea birds sing,

Breathed in the sulfuric air,

But I couldn’t look at you.

The water erodes the rocks

The rocks don’t seem to mind.

The sea is a harsh mother

Yet the sailors set out daily

Relinquishing control,

Accepting love,...

I have an old picture in my room

Of you drinking coffee,

A smile gracing your face.

Seeing you there, it’s so clear.

Sunday night dinners, patio talks,

Loving and being loved so purely.

Maybe I’d go to church more.

I hate how they talk about you.

I wanted to know you

But the harder I tried, the faster you left.

I knew you least, but I know I knew you best.

I just hate how often I forget you.

I...