The water sways within the glass When the world moves so does the water within. Ice floats to the top How? I mean to say You’re a chameleon Versatile Flexible You can form to What’s needed When the world moves I want to move too I’m not like you. You are so damn beautiful, and within you is the very essence of survival Within me, I feel empty. What do you feel?

I love you water

When the world moves and your beauty sways I want to cry because you are what you need to be for me.

When I look at you The sky full of stars seemed dead and cold; a place once so magical now hurt to behold. When I look at you The moon overhead must have vanished; the house that we built has been ravaged. When I look at you Footprints that have disappeared in the snow; that beautiful river we swam in has froze. When I look at myself The mirrored reflection flips upside down; The hairs on my head stand on their own When I look at us No house, no river, no sky Please come back

Hazy smoke shrouds the grass branches fall adorn the land with your rage bodies lie embellished upon the cliffs golden flakes spread. Ruby-red glimmering arch as beautiful ichor runs over stones

I find myself staring at you from across the lake. I press my feet deep into the sand as I watch your hair dance side to side with each gust of wind. The air, the lake, the trees - they whisper to me. But I never could understand what nature had to offer. You seem happy now with that guy you’re with. Your daughter seems happy too. You always told me I would never be the father to your daughter. You always told me that you didn’t want another child, but yet…. I sit here and watch you smile with another man, your stomach protruding.

You’re glowing my love.

You will never read this. You will never even know that I know. All you know is your daughter, and this new man who she now calls daddy. Seven years and a deployment was never enough for you, but maybe it wasn’t for me either. Why wasn’t it enough? Why wasn’t I?

Your daughter looks at me through the reflection in the water.

Hi cubby.

I will always be here for you and love you, though you will never even realize it. She looks away, and I hear her laugh as she pokes a stick at her new daddy. I hear crickets. I never thought I’d hear crickets out here at this lake.

I’ll never forget the day you looked me in the eyes and said you loved me. I’ll never forget when we ate that donut at universal studios, or that flower dress you wore on the first day of stats class with that black little hat of yours. I’ll never forget that blue dress you wore to go salsa dancing with me. I’ll never forget loving you.

I will also never forget the day you told me “I don’t love you.”

Back then your words hurt me deeply, but now your silence hurts me even more.

So I am doing this Tap tap tap buzz brrrrrr So I tapslipflop Above the shattered remains Ahhh to dark Perched across that empty sea Ahhh to sad Tap-buzz-brrrrplop Incredible Round and round the towel goes. Where my brain flies nobody knows. Anyways I am trying to do this “Did you flip the burgers?” “Huh” I am trying to do this “Hello” “Wait” tap-tap-flop “Fine, I’ll do it” Sssssssshhhhhsssss If I can just BUZZZZZ CLAP “GOT YOU!” “Huh” Incredible

I miss you Oh so dearly Brown grass beneath Molten sun I can still hear The sound of Your small slippers Tap tap The sound of Your shallow breathing I miss you Oh so dearly Words I never said I fucking miss you Oh so dearly I hear you Oh so clearly And then you’re gone Rain from my eyes Molten sun Hospital bed One long line Before you’re gone One last breath No more pulse One last whisper You to me I love you Oh so dearly