The train station was filled with prayers and sorrow. It was packed with family and loved ones not so ready to send off their men for war, the soilders trying to reassure them and let them know that everything will be okay.
Mary tried her best to hold back the waterfall of tears. She fanned her face to stop the tears from streaming down. George sighed gave his wife a poignant look, he knew she was trying to stay strong for their daughter and it pained him deeply to leave them both. “Honey,” he said as he removed his Garrison Cap and held it tightly, trying his own best not to get emotional as well. She cut him off with her frantic panicking “well, what if you don’t come back? W-What am I supposed to do if I get a envelope in the mail instead of you at the front door?” Her heart was racing with the fear of losing her husband and losing the father to their daughter. Little Eloise looked between her mother and father. Her mothers panicked making her panic a bit as well.
“Is daddy not gonna come home?” She pouted, she was starting to get antsy as well about the situation, even though countless times her father had let her know that he would be fine. George shook his head “no, no,” he said strongly. “Nothing will happen to me. I promise.” He swore. He bent down to his daughter and took her hand “Daddy is going to be okay. Do you trust me?” Eloise pouted and looked at him like she was on the verge of tears as well. “You promise? But how will me and mommy know you’re okay?” She whined. He felt a bit doubtful. Breaking a promise is the worst thing you could do. He took her little hand and forced a small smile hoping to make her feel less nervous. “Don’t worry, I’ll come home soon, okay? Even if I’m not here physically,” He tapped his finger on the left side of her chest where her heart would be “I’ll always be here.” A subtle reassurance just in case he didn’t come home.
Eloise nodded and her eyes started to water, she immediately wrapped her arms around his neck to hug him “I’m gonna miss you a lot daddy.” The moment broke Mary and she couldn’t stop the tears after that, she was hysterical. George picked up his daughter and brought his wife into the hug, kissing the top of her forehead and trying his best not to cry. The train roared, letting everyone know that it’ll be leaving in a few. His wife tried to regain her composure back but it was hard. His daughter tried her best to stay strong “I’ll pray every night daddy so God can protect you.” She said, still holding on to him so tightly. “I love you guys so much.” He replied to them both. “I’ll be fine.” Though, he wasn’t so sure. George handed Eloise to her mother as the train roared once again. He put his cap back on and took a deep breath. “I must go now.” He said remorsefully. Mary started getting hysterical again “please be safe! I love you so much!” She cried out, holding Eloise so tight in her arms. He fought back the tears, gulping the lump in his throat as he nodded “Goodbye.” He said, giving one more strong embrace to them. It was longer than the other and it felt more painful to bare knowing he was about to leave the people he oh loved so much.
He reluctantly gave them one last farewell, the ache in his heart growing stronger as he walked closer to the train. Once inside he sat in one of the seats close to the window, watching his wife and daughter continue to wave at him. The conductor rung the bell, letting everyone on board know the train was leaving. His heart pounded as the train wheels slowly screeched on the tracks, it wasn’t until he couldn’t see his wife and daughter anymore then the waterworks came. The realization set in that he wouldn’t see his beloved family for a very long time.
I’m struggling a bit with writing emotions and setting the scene and pacing. I feel like the ending went by too fast 😅 so all feedback appreciated!!
“1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6” Oliver counted in his head as he hopped from one square to the other. Hopscotch was his favorite game. He didn’t have many friends, he preferred to play alone even though his mother tried to encourage him to play with other kids. He simply had not interest in it.
He picked the small pebble back up and tossed it once again. it hit the ground a couple times before landing on the number 8. He began to hop his way to the 8th square “1, 2, 3, 4, 5,” His balance was thrown off by the large gust off wind that pushed him with his. The small boy didn’t have time to react as he fell onto the concrete, scraping the fragile skin on his knee. His face scrunched when he looked down at the scab, small droplets off blood ran down to his ankle. His eyes stayed fixated on the scrape, deciding wether to cry or be tough. His father always told him to be strong but his mother debated that, telling him it’s ok for boys to cry.
A clear driblet from above landed on his leg, splattering on the small line of blood making it wash out. The boy looked at the ground, his shadow disappearing didn’t go unnoticed. He slowly looked up, completely forgetting about his knee as he watched the big blue lose its color, turning dark and grey. He didn’t need to squint anymore from the brightness since the sun slowly got covered by the heavy clouds. More droplets started to fall, the hopscotch drew from chalk slowly dissolving.
“Oliver! Come inside honey!” The boy’s mother shouted from the front door, slightly panicking. He didn’t listen, he kept looking up top curiously. A loud cracking boom attacked his ear drums, large streaks of lightning in the clouds accompanying the horrifying sound. He had seen rain before, but not like this. Oliver shrieked sad covered his ears, running to his mother at the door. He immediately went into her arms for comfort. Even though his clothes were damp, his mother reciprocated the hug and wrapped her arms around him tightly. “You should’ve come in when I told you to!” She scolded lightly. He whined. “I was trying to be brave!” He protested stubbornly, still holding on to his mother tightly. She sighed, remembering he is just a boy after all. She kissed the top of his head “Well, brave boys listen to their mothers.” She smiled.
This is literally my first story I’ve written ever😭 I hope it’s good, I love all feedback !! :)
