It’s been three weeks already, three weeks of hanging around here, or perhaps more than that, or no time at all, all of the clocks seem to be set wrong at all times. It isn’t as I expected it to be, this error has really opened my eyes to someone’s definition of hell, one I never even considered, it seems to be chaos, that’s what it’s been defined as, not pain, just chaos.
I can’t help but feel happy to be here, really, I would’ve assumed it’d get old, the upside down gravity rooms, the unthinkable architecture, the minuet little out of place details, all of these little confusions and somehow it feels perfect for me, truly perfect.
Yesterday I fell asleep in a lava cloud after being chased by a huge dog, then I woke up to an almost pitch black ice cave aside from some lanterns here and there, I found my way out in the end, it was raining cranberry juice over me as I walked back to my boat .. it was a strange day and yet somehow it felt alright; or even good. It made me think of how heaven is, if hell is chaos, then is heaven simply just order?
If that is truly the case then it sounds deathly boring to me, especially compared to this place, if heaven is order I don’t want to be there, I’d rather cranberry juice rain and crystal polar bears.. plus whatever else this place has I store for me.
It felt so frustrating, as if everyone looked down at you every moment of the day. As if I don’t actually have a job, I don’t actually have a family, i don’t actually work, I don’t actually.. well the list goes on.
I wish I would stop getting treated like dirt, I think everyone here wishes that. The break room seemed to be the only place in the building I could relax, away from customers asking me about products and for directions, I wish I could stay here all day, but I know I can’t.
“You’re in tomorrow.. the day after that as well, and-.. I’ll just send you the timetable.” My manager spoke to me, sipping on a coffee he’d just made, it seemed as if all he did was hand out work hours to everyone else, not actually doing anything in the store - well perhaps that’s what managers are supposed to do, I don’t know at this point, I’ve always assumed the clue was in the name.
I think the bigger thing that irks me about this job, although it’s quite weird of me to say, is the names of the people working here.
Sandy, who’s even called “Sandy”? Kyle, a basic name. Kurt, another one with a ‘k’ somehow.
There’s so many strangely basic names here, as if they were randomly picked from some website generator to fit each other, maybe they made them up for the badges or something, I don’t know at this point. I think the stress is bringing out little details here and there, It’s only been a day and I already despise it here, I guess that’s a great start..
“Hey HEY!” he shouts across the room, an orange cat currently entering the room, the cat quickly darting upstairs and him going after it, in a state of confusion. All of the cats he’d ever met were skittish and never dared to even come near him, this one was quite obviously different, it was as if it thought it owned the place.
Instead of shouting at it he decided to simply pick it up, carry it downstairs and leave it outside, “stay out here.” He said with a soft but firm voice, pointing towards the street after placing it down carefully. It seemed contempt so he turned and continued to unpack his things into his living room, he heard those familiar small footsteps again and turned his head to find the cat right next to him, staring at him.
He jumped backwards onto the box, quite startled by how close it was, the cat looked unfazed, letting out a little meow (more of a prrr-ow than a meow; perhaps it has a particular accent), he repeated the same action from before; pick up the cat, place it outside, return.
The cat didn’t complain, only seemed a bit confused by his actions.
The same back and forth continued for hours, until he assumed he’d won, the cat had seemingly given up now, leaving him to unpack happily while airing the house out.
He’d only realise the cat was still inside after closing the windows and blinds for the night, finding it snuggled under the sheets of his bed, purring happily as if it was having a nice dream.
“.. I guess I have a cat now.”
“Hello .. excuse me! .. can you point me to the right aisle?” He greeted the shop assistant, he continued after waiting for the man’s attention, “I’m looking for some.. some..” he couldn’t quite describe it, his mind had gone completely blank, he trailed off, looking around and trying to bring the item to mind.
He tried once again, “Uhh, you know the fruit .. the green thing..?” It felt very awkward standing there, trying to think. He could certainly picture it in his mind, it stayed on the tip of his tongue, right there, he just couldn’t form it.
“A fruit? .. are you looking for berries or?” The man was clearly very confused, he stared at the other man, trying to help the best he could in that moment.
“A green thing .. a watermelon????”
I sat at the end of the table, my brother, the idiot he is, sitting in his seat cards in his hands. He’d agreed to yet another game of cards, wanting to win his losses back, he’d stupidly bet our entire weeks pay, our, mine included. It was funny when he was a child, my father and mother would laugh at his ridiculous exclamations, ridiculous odds, now it was more saddening, it was sad because I am still included, even after all of his losses he includes me, says it’s for higher stakes, says he cares about me too.
Now he sat there as smug as always, I was almost certain he’d lose, as he always does, but for some reason it felt slightly different, as if something might change this time, I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. He laughed as he dropped the cards on top of the pile, all I could hear was laughter and shock, everyone blocking my view as they congratulated him.
The other player was shocked, the woman against him looked devastated, I was in awe at the scene, truly shocked that he could ever succeed after so many losses. The only question was: what did he really bet on this time?
