“What do you mean, you’re not a bad person?” My voice was unfamiliar. I was asking only for an old friend; i knew she meant it, but the hurt ten year old in me, was only repeating the defense more so than asking anything.
“I did nothing wrong, all i did was talk. They’re the fools for having something for us to talk about,” Debbie’s volume went up in pitch as she dribbled out her testimony, almos...
My tears are the waters that baptized me
I repented before being saved
The devil in me didn’t see
For dear god, I prayed.
a shameful person
Mixed into shameless dealings
She cried bloody tears
I stabbed her feelings
My words said around
found a way to her pain
my hands are stained
The road to hell was paved all with good intention
And it still lead to dissension...
The truth was never real. Her life was structured like a film set, displayed as a happy character. Realities masked, and illusions amplified- their lies were white, maybe not even described as a lie, since they evaded answering on topic. She grew to believe in truth, raised to not lie- but to only learn she was raised by lies. The biggest contradiction, and her meaning of life and her purpose. It...
I open my eyes to my life
I hadn’t blinked in the staring contest
My eyes had dried
I was raised with fake information of who I was
I believed everything and I was punished for all I didn’t
The punishment I didn’t understand, my mother was 14 and pregnant
She was granted ten lashes,
She took four
I took six
I never knew what I was born into
Her third child
The only one that was planned
And so, the...
Eyes cracked, like windows on a cold morning. Her hair lay in a neat fold at her side, and her hands gently dust her forehead. A small click tempo’s the four walls, making the concept of time something to hear and not see. Tipping her head above the sheets she recognized her childhood bedroom. She sat in dejavu, this was the house that was demoed- the scene of this structure was voted to be torn d...
My frontal brain that holds my personality and internal commentary, was believing it called the shots. I have likes and dislikes, opinions and no opinions, it feels like i make all the choices all day. That’s only 10% of me. The rest is calculating my beats per minute, digestion, blinking, breathing. All of my non thinking parts are still thinking, and when my frontal 10% can’t handle my emotions,...
Growing to leave wasn’t my intent. I’m sorry my shadow grew tall. You hate me for it, and i understand. You liked to face your petals down at me while i look up. Our relationship was believed symbiotic, of you for me and i for you, but it was the rays who fed me, never you. I believed that you were the same height with the sun, and you never denied. The day i grew beyond your sky- your petals shut...
Hearts without penmanship
Mirrors painted over with family portraits
Goodbye’s with no returning
Hello’s left hanging
A home on fire but no warmth
No water to diffuse
Tears are the only source
While only one of them cries
the others tell a lie
A promise to share and pass on
The tears they won’t respond
A empty cup given back
The one left dry, wells a tear in their eye
To shed behind a masque...
It’s hard to blow out all the candles. My way from birth till now has been lit by these peoples flames that bite; messy and unkept wax. The light excretes a tear, then freezes when it runs cold and solidifies as a heart on its sleeve. A tear kept in place, to let everyone know, who hadn’t known. Memorabilia, if you will. My elders tears hold me for ransom long beyond what’s been paid due. Debt tha...
The worst for you was death. I feared you when you lived, when you could only breathe air in one place at a time. I ran and I hid from you. Why was that easier when you were still here? Until you died I hadn’t understood what a blessing it was to have you be in one place- the day you died you became my air. Infecting my lungs with your mold of a personality. The day you died, it was the closest yo...