She slid across the table to sit across from me.

“Hey, I’m Sadie!” The girl said. She waits for my response. “And you are…?” She says after a minute. I shake my head and look back to my food.

“Are you like a mute or something?” She asks. I nod. “For your entire life?” I shake my head. “What’s happened?” She asks. Tears are starting to swell but I wipe them away. Memories of my dead brother are not...

Once upon a dreary night,

when the air is filled with fright,

you will be summoned by a fallen love,

and you will notice a cooing dove.

When the tea finishes boiling,

you will look for the coil coiling.

When the are is not so right,

you will be multi tasking,

all night....

“When the time comes, be ready.” Eileen says to me over the phone. Confusion fills me, but by the time I have to wonder what to be ready for, she’s already hung up.

I check the clock and see the time. 12:38am. Oof, I have to get up at 6 tomorrow. A couple more minutes scrolling on my phone won’t hurt, right? I go back to my phone. Eileen’s words keep strolling through my head. What did she mean?

...

Pain fills my heart

as I look at the empty frame.

I

will never be

the same,

because of the empty frame.

My heart is blue,

because of you.

I remember how we talked

about filling that frame with

our secrets that were locked.

But now you are gone

forever peaceful resting,

but are you now testing

the loyalty of keeping the

empty frame....

I don’t know what happened to my life. Well, wooden life. I don’t know how I accidentally impaled my fake father.

It happened when I reached high school. I still hadn’t become a boy, my nose become so long daily that the fairies decided to reset it every day or I’d die.

I was walking to school and some guy said I looked ugly. I lied and said I was getting plastic surgery. One nose chunk goes up....

My white shirt

was stained red.

Your consistent

ex,

would not return to bed.

My love is

untainted.

When you saw me,

you fainted.

You called me

the devil,

at the starting level.

You said you hated him!

You hated your ex, Tim!

You wished him dead,

and now I bring his head.

You said you’d always love me,

even if I couldn’t see.

Even if I killed someone for you?

Even if my face was red not blue?

Or w...

“You’re the smartest kind of stupid.” Eileen says, looking me straight in the eyes. I see a small smile creeping up her face, the first hint that this is a joke.

“Oh, shut up.” I say rolling my eyes. “It was only a 22 percent.”

“Exactly my point!” Eileen exclaims. “You’re failing all your classes!” Eileen does have a point here, but I would not let her know that.

“So? It’s not like I’m getting ...

I hate life.

But pain is shared, right?

I’m joking.

No one understands hatred better than

me.

Hating yourself can be normal, of course.

Normal-ish.

Maybe.

“Believe in you!” They say.

“Oh, shut up.” Is my retaliation.

Loving being rude equals bad.

Or no.

Love fearing, more like it.

Hate living.

“Equal rights” people chant repeatedly.

Just repeated constantly.

Why?

That question looms over everyone....

I shouldn’t care.

No really, I shouldn’t.

They just

talk

and talk

and talk.

It’s never been true.

But when they try to whisper,

and it sounds louder than thunder,

I have to listen.

Listen to them talk about how

ugly

I am.

Why did they have to whisper like thunder?...

After the stroke I can’t talk much. Well I can think, but I’m physically unable to speak more than ten words.

“The stroke hurt me so much, that I can’t talk.” I say to mom.

“I know, sweety. I know.” She responds.

“I can’t talk much.” I say. Mom gives a weak response and pats me on the back. I want to cry, but I can’t. I just can’t. I want to say more, but I can’t.

I just can’t....