Forgiveness

One of the hardest things to do

Especially when you know

The other was in the wrong

I don’t know if I will ever

Be able to forgive you for

What happened in the past

Don’t worry, I’ve tried

But maybe looking at the positives

The good outcomes from you

Maybe that would help…

Let’s see

Without you

I never would’ve gone to devils

Without you

I never would’ve reconnected with...

Yet

Such a small word

But it possesses so much meaning

It can change the entire perspective

Shift it from impossible

To something just within reach

By changing it

It gives this sense of motivation

A sense of resilience

I can’t do this

Yet

I’m not better

Yet

I can reach my goal

Not today

Not tomorrow

But with the power of yet

I know I can...

If only it wasn’t so rejected

So rejected from society

Apparently it’s not normal

But also

What is?

I wish I could by my true self

Around my parents, family, friends

So I don’t have to hide

And have this secret

This forbidden secret

That I would be disowned if she knew

So what if I’m bisexual

So what if it’s weird

It’s me

What’s the problem with that?

You’re right

There is none

But if she knew...

I miss the times when my thoughts were overthrown

With thoughts of her

Not with thoughts of wanting to be dead

She would take over my brain for hours

With scenarios

Dreams

Hopes

Wishes

Now instead of her my thoughts are with suicide

Life

Death

Blade

I wish I could go back

To my sane mind

I need to go back

Please?...

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six scars

Just one more

It won’t hurt anything

At night the scars come out

Get evaluated

And end up getting more companions

To then do that process all over again the next night

With the cold sharp blade

That solves all the problems

Just for those quick moments of adrenaline

Everything goes away

I can’t stop

Some part of a scar always has to be there

To be noticed

Cause I...

My friends are like my rope

And I am the climber

My only source of life

Surrounded by a void

If the rope snaps and falls

So does the climber

Both of them falling

With no good resolution

But

If the climber loses their grip

And falls

The rope will stay

Slightly strained

But positioned

As if in honor of the fallen climber

So if I fall

Please stay

In honor of me...

It’s just the two of them. Sitting on the floor of the auditorium dressing room. The rest of the cast had left for the cast party at the restaurant down the street while Carson and Riley were stuck on cleanup duty. It wasn’t really that much. More so sweeping and making sure there wasn’t any food in the room. They were mainly done by the time they both slid down the senior wall tired and sweating ...

It took me 6 years to decide what school I would go to. Which friends I would leave. And which colors suited me most. I had always thought I would be a Hornet. All my friends were going there, so why wouldn’t I. But every time I thought about it, it didn’t seem right. The other school intrigued me. It called me. I always found an excuse to keep it on my mind. But when somebody were to ask me ...

The world is filled with reasons

to make you want to leave

It likes to make you feel worthless

Like your a failure

Like your not worth it

Like you shouldn’t have been born

I thought I was safe

Until I landed in a new home

With new people

And new trusts

And now I’ve fallen to the devil called the world

So my advice for you…

Be careful out there...

Every day I fail someone new

First it my parents

Then my teachers

Friends

Siblings

Family

Until there’s no one here for me

All because I failed them

Because I disappointed them

And left them

All because of me...