In my dream I was outdoors My whole family was there All my friends The sun shining on our faces Our bodies strong.

In my dream the song Of the birds was the loudest of all It was all we could hear And so we joined in

The sky was so blue, carribean The sun was a lemon jolt that Left little marks in my vision Remaining when I closed my eyes; My own personal sunlight

In my dream we all held one another And the trees surrounding all held us And the sky was so high up And the air tasted like chocolate And it was all yellow and green and blue

And suddenly, around us, Flowers began to bloom Shy whites, boisterous purples Blushing pinks, and tiny giggling flecks of yellow.

I woke up happier than I'd felt in years Rising up, free and easy, on that day. Lighter than the air. The sun was shining bright that day And just for one minute, I could hear birds chirping outside my window.

I feel so pathetic remembering those days. How easily I was convinced; manipulated How good things seemed; felt When you wear rose-tinted glasses All the red flags just look like flags But then, how often do I see flags? I should have still taken note Regardless of hue I acted miserably, seduced by a promise A promise I always knew would be broken But hungrily, I played along. Until the day I broke. I am still shaking, I am not ready to call you by name.

I had visited her every day For the past ten years And yet she never got to know me any better Nor I, her.

I would sit and talk to her for hours, Under an umbrella in the rain Bundled up in coats and scarves in the snow Doused in sunscreen all summer long.

But she never changed. She sat there and endured the changing seasons And the harsh winds With stone-faced resolve, motionless.

Today I say goodbye to grief. I know I will never touch her hands again If there were even hands left to hold. I turn my back, and walk away from her grave

Dropping one last rose as I go.