Juno entered his dusty old attic, sighing dramatically as he knew he desperately needed to clean up this attic if he wanted his apartment to be pretty and impressive. He wore a mask to protect him from the dust and the relentless sneezing, and brought some cleaning supplies as well. He turned on the light and looked over the attic, which was crowded in junk, so much so that it was overwhelming and he didn’t know where to start. That was until his eye caught onto the box in the corner. He knew that box well, as there was doodles covering the whole thing, all from his old friends as they helped him pack his things and leave. It was his old circus equipment. He smiled, ready for the good memories, and made his way over. Juno smiled and dusted off the box before opening it. First he saw was his basic stuff, his rings, his hat, his colorful juggling balls, his aerial equipment. He run his hand over the silk, smiling as memories flooded back. He wondered if he still had the skills he did way back then. He couldn’t try anything with his old aerial silks, but he could try juggling. He picked up the balls, attempting to juggle them, though they fell out of his hands. He didn’t seem to have that skill anymore. He sighed, missing those times. He set them aside, deciding what to keep and what not to, before he finally reached the bottom of the box. At the very bottom was a Polaroid picture, he gasped as he saw it, a picture of a man he hadn’t seen in… a decade, was it? His old best friend, Finn, who died many years ago. Juno and Finn had been the best act, the reason so many bought tickets to their circus. He could still remember Finn’s hands on him as they performed. But good things never last forever, and he had died in a horrible car accident. His death had been the reason Juno had left and given up his job at the circus, because without him, what even was he? He held the photo gently, like it would tear completely if he was even the slightest bit rough. Juno let out a shaky breath, he had been avoiding all thoughts of Finn, even after all this long, he still hadn’t processed his grief or gotten over it. Though seeing this picture, he allowed himself for the first time ever to sit there and cry as he held the picture gently to his chest. So much for cleaning the attic.

“So, who’s going to die today?”

Jacob Hendrik spoke, his voice grim. He was sitting around the fire with the rest of his village, though he was speaking quietly to his friend, Lars. Lars was as anxious as ever, as he should be, no one wanted to be a sacrifice. Well… at least most of them didn’t. Some were sitting at the edge of their seats, hoping to be picked, to be sacrificed to their goddess. Jacob couldn’t share the sentiment. Lars was gripping his seat tight, his face already pale. He was always the most nervous of them all, while everyone else just took to this day with a grim silence, or eager excitement. Lars looked at Jacob, shrugging. “I-I don’t know.” Lars whispered as the pendulum swung across each name. He tensed each time it crossed his, terrified it would land on him. At least the man didn’t have a family to worry about. Jacob, however, did. He didn’t just have his name on there that worried him, but the name of his three children, and his wife. The village leaders had no quandaries with sacrificing even children. The pendulum swung, over and over, before it decided on a name. “Oh hemeltje.” Jacob uttered the words as he looked at the name chosen. Jacob Hendrik. It was his name. His hand gripped his seat tight, and everyone was staring at him. “Jacob Hendrik, come forward please.” Ambroos Visser, the village’s leader, spoke. It was almost as if he was enjoying this. Jacob felt his skin crawl, he had never felt completely comfortable with this tradition, but now he was feeling utter dread about it. Lars was staring at him. His wife, Julia, too. His three kids, mostly were crying, though his oldest was silent, like she agreed that this was the rules, this had to happen. But Jacob refused to move. Soon he felt hands gripping him, pulling him forward to the altar, and no matter how hard he tried to resist, they overpowered him. He could have sworn he felt someone’s hand trying to pull him back. Maybe it was his goddess, who never actually wanted these sacrifices to happen. Maybe it was his family, his child. Maybe it was his friend. He would never known. They kneeled him down in front of the altar and he screamed out, thrashing as they pulled out the axe, so beautifully made yet stained with the blood of others. He continued to fight them, yet they held them still as Ambroos raised the axe, preparing to slaughter him. He could hear Ambroos chanting, though it was all a blur to him. And Jacob could swear that Ambroos was smiling, as he brought it down upon his neck.

Adeline opened her eyes.

Her vision was filled with pretty, vibrant colors, yet also warm and soft. The bed she laid in- though she was unsure how she got in it- was probably the best bed she has ever been in. This room, how beautiful it was, filled with things Adeline didnt even know she loved. Though, the admiration was taken over by confusion.

How had she even gotten here? Was this what heaven was like? She was neither heavily religious like the rest of her family had been, but maybe it had all been true. She checked her pulse, and to her surprise, her heart wasn’t beating. Maybe it would’ve been the right time to panic. But she, the usually anxious girl, felt calmer than ever. She came to the realization that she had died like it was a thing that happened every other day. The feeling of nothing but calmness and clarity was nice, extremely nice. She got to her feet and it was like her feet glided her along to a pretty wardrobe, like she had been living here for ages and knew where everything was. She picked out the perfect outfit, and when she looked in the mirror, she felt good about herself, for the first time in forever. And then slowly, she opened the door to the outside.

It was a small, homely town, with friendly people who all knew eachother. Her calm mind didnt allow her to question whether or not these people or real. Adeline walked around town and several people greeted her, some offering to show her around town. Usually, she’d refuse to minimize social interaction. This time, she accepted. They were so friendly. They were so wrong. Deep inside her brain, she knew it. And when she finally laid down on her bed for a rest after a whole day of orientation, answers, and meeting people, she finally tried to question it.

But she couldn’t. Like somethhing was pushing them away, something was stopping her. All she could think about was how great this life was, or what she was going to do tomorrow, or about how much she loves her new friends. Because questioing it, that would cause negative feelings to arise. And we can’t have that, can we?

As an unsettled feeling started to arise, the calmness settled back over her again. She didnt have control of her own thoughts, her emotions. She felt trapped. Well, if she could feel anything but calmness and happiness, she’d feel trapped. But she couldn’t.

Days went on, weeks, months, years, without her questioning anything. And she became just like all the mindless people in this town, happy without any problems until their brains turned to mush. Adeline looked in the mirror one day, as she always does, having a strict routine.

And for the first time in forever, She felt unsettled. Adeline reached and touched the mirror, at the mindless girl she saw in the reflection. This wasn’t.. her.

And as she started to be able to think, think her negative thoughts, think to herself, she began to panic. What was wrong with her? Why was she feeling this way? Where was that calm that always kept her feelings at bay? It was gone and it wasn’t there to stop her from realizing the flaws of this so called perfect world. So she did the only thing she knew to do; she went to her closest friends in the town, speaking to them fast, rambling like a madman. They looked at her like she was insane. They had only seen one other person who ever acted like this, and after getting talked to the celestial beings that ran this heaven, he had been fixed. So in their concern for their friend, they brought her to them, despite Adeline’s protests.

Alone with the beings she once had trusted but now feared, she stared at them, hoping her glare was fierce enough to scare them off. It wasn’t.

They sighed, and in a flash, Adeline was in a white room, confused and unable to move. They knew how to fix her. So they gave her a factory reset.

I care about you Me and you, we’re closer than ever I’m the only one you have, you’re the only one I have And that’s how it’s been for years I appreciate you I look up to you And I would be devastated if you were to leave But at the same time Sometimes I hate you.

I get tired of your humor The way you blow up on people The things you talk about over and over again Your pushy and nosy attitude The way you always get so mad And the way you never can control it

And I cry for you The way your life is so ruined I feel pity for you Because i know its not your fault you turned out this way You hate it too And I wish I could save you I wish I could help you But I can’t.

So the best I could ever do Is to keep treating you with love And hide the boiling resentment deep inside of me.

Atlas strolled around the kingdom, taking in the crisp night air. This was definitely his favorite time of the day. Usually, he walks around in the nearby forest. But today, he felt like walking around the streets. He’s never really looked around here much anyways. Looking to his left, he saw a small store. Was this store new? He didn’t remember it. It was closed now, so he couldn't go looking inside of it anyways. Maybe tomorrow. He was about to move on, though at a second glance, he spotted something moving. Was that a person? He squinted and his thoughts were confirmed- that was indeed a person creeping out of the store's window. Odd. He could almost assume they were stealing, with the way they were acting, and the bag of things they were carrying out of the store… wait. “Hey!” He called out, impulsively. This person could have a weapon, what was he doing? The person froze, staring at him. He then got a closer look at them. They looked so familiar, was that.. “Charlotte?” The person then bolted and stupidly, Atlas followed. “Charlie, wait, wait, it's me!” After a while of trying to run from him, she became tired and out of breath. Damn this man. Charlotte turned to him with an irritated look. “Fuck off, Atlas. This doesn’t concern you.” She snapped, chucking a can at him. Surprisingly he dodged it, staring at her. She still looked the same after all these years, the same raggedy brown hair, the same sharp blue eyes, the same glare, the same everything. “What in the world are you doing?” He asked the woman he hadn’t seen in years, picking up the can she threw at him. “Oh, why should that matter to you?” Yeah, she was definitely still salty about what he had done. Which, he couldn’t fault her for. He looked at her. “I mean.. I just caught you stealing. I could turn you in for this.” It was a small threat, but he was a weak man who never went through with threats. She knew that very well. One of the things she hated about him. “Bullshit.” She spat. He scoffed, walking closer to her, handing her the beat up can. “Still this desperate to survive?” Atlas asked, not trying to be rude, even if it was a rude thing to say. He’s always been a bit dense. She glared at him, looking about ready to punch him. She should have. But she still didn’t have it in her to hurt him, not yet. “Maybe I wouldn’t have to be if you hadn’t left me.” She shot, taking the can. “Maybe you wouldn’t have to be if you had come with me.” He shot back. Atlas didn’t miss arguing with her. She was stubborn. Extremely. Stubborn. And she’d always say he had a victim complex. Which it wasn’t true! “Look, I was just trying to do what was best for us. But I wasn’t going to stay with you, still having to fight to survive, if there was the option to be safer. Sleeping in a warm bed. Happy. It hurt when you didnt come with me. You’re not the one who should get angry here.” He said, his voice going softer, sadder. They had been everything to each other, especially considering they had nothing. Living on the streets, hiding from certain people they've wronged (people she wronged really), doing what they could to survive (stealing. A lot of stealing). “Happy? I wasn’t happy to be working for a tyrant!” Until one day they had gotten caught, arrested and taken into custody to eventually see the king. It turns out, the king had been in need of servants for the castle. They had been given a choice. Work for him, or spend a good amount of time in prison. They both chose the former. But Charlotte, being Charlotte, eventually found a way to escape. But in Atlas’s eyes, working for the king was much safer- much better- than the danger they had been living in. He wasn’t one for a life of adventure. He had just had to live one for most of his life. But there, they had a warm bed, good food, and weren’t at risk of being murdered! What more could you ask for? “Oh come on, it isn’t that bad.” So he stayed. And she left. And they hadn’t seen each other since. She huffed. “Spending your days being at someone’s beck and call isn’t that bad? You- you know what Atlas? I'm done arguing with you. You made your choice. And now, you can choose if you’ll turn me in or not.” Charlie stared at him expectantly. He shifted, moving a bit of his curly hair out of his face. He thought about his options, but there wasn’t much thinking that needed to be involved. He didn’t need to turn her in. He wasn’t that loyal. “…go. Just don’t come back.” She continued to stare at him for a little while, her brown hair moving in the wind as her expression softened a bit. “One day you’ll realize how shitty this life is.” Charlotte said, and then in a flash she was gone, disappearing into the woods. Maybe never to be seen again. At least not by him. He sighed, looking back to where the castle is. He should.. be getting back now. His break time was almost over.

Jess sat on his bed, having been staring at the wall for the past thirty minutes. He felt shaky, ill, wrong. Everything felt wrong. This happened so many times and he just wanted it to go away. Why couldn’t it go away? Maybe it was the lack of human interaction getting to him. He texted his best friend (possibly best friend, who knew), Elijah, asking to come over. Elijah said yes of course, the lonely man always desperate for a friend to come over and hang out. Jess felt pity for him, but was never one to often hang out with people, especially someone so… desperate. It was sad, he was the only person Elijah had. But, to be fair, Elijah was the only person he had. He never said he wasn’t a hypocrite. Jess slipped on his shoes and his old green jacket. He desperately needed to replace both of these things with something new, he just never found the energy to do so. Grabbing his keys, he walked out the door and drove to his friends house, making it there shortly. He knocked on the door and almost immediately- almost as if he had been waiting for Jess- Elijah answered, a bright smile on his face. “Jess, Jess, I’m so happy to see you! Come on in.” His house was so clean, so unlike Jess’, which was a complete mess. Jess gave Elijah a little smile and a hello, stepping in the door and taking his shoes off. He knew Elijah hated it when anyone walked around his house with dirty shoes on, even if Elijah would never be brave enough to simply ask them to take them off at the door. Pitiful man, really. Jess plopped down on Elijah’s couch, Elijah was the only person he was this comfortable around, though he wasnt sure he’d even consider the man a friend. A contemplation for another time. Elijah sat down next to him, back straight and hands folded neatly on his lap- god did he always sit like this? Even in his own home? Or was he just performing in front of Jess? For a man he was ‘so close to’ he really didnt understand much about him. Elijah knew so much about him but Jess knew almost nothing about Elijah.. Jess didn’t like that. He was usually closed off but opened up to Elijah in drunken rambles he often had late at night, calling the man who also never slept. He needed to feel like there was equal ground between him and Elijah, but Elijah knew too much, and Jess knew too little. Elijah looked over at him. “So, why are you here actually?” He asked, and Jess made eye contact with him which they both quickly broke off. They both struggled with eye contact. “I’m..” Was this how normal friends did it? Show up to their friends house whenever they felt lonely or weird and wrong? Why hadn’t he just called Elijah? He was tempted to lie and tell the other that he had showed up because he was bored and wanted to watch the newest season of The Great British Bake Off. So he did. Because lying was cool and he knew the both of them did it often. And then they did, watching the newest season with no questions asked. But Jess still did not feel right. It was still there, the feeling that made him want to hide, or break a wall, or just.. confirm that what he was looking at was real? If that even made any sense at all? Maybe he was going crazy. It got so strong that he, in a quick movement, paused the show and grabbed Elijah’s arm, which made the other man flinch and look at him with surprise. Elijah was always so flinchy. Jess was flinchy too, but it probably wasn’t for the same reason. Someday, Jess would ask him about why Elijah behaved so strangely at times. But not today. “As much as I love this show, this isnt why I came over today.” God, he was being weird, he could see it in the other mans eyes. He needed to just stop, so he did, removing his arm and moving away, looking away. “I know.” Elijah replied. What did he mean he knew? “The more I’m around you, the easier it gets to tell when you’re lying. Even if you’re a good liar.” Elijah’s voice was so soft, but that wasnt reassuring. He didn’t want Elijah to know his mannerisms. “Ah.” Is how he replied. Great job at making conversation, Jess. “I guess I just needed to talk to you. I’ve been feeling pretty strange lately, yknow? Like everything’s.. so wrong. So wrong. The walls aren’t real they’re.. wrong. Hell I can’t explain it. They’re just wrong. Like theres something behind them or something? Or.. god, i dont know.” He groaned, running a hand down his face. He wanted to apologize for randomly dumping this on Elijah, but he doesn’t do apologies. To his surprise, Elijah chuckled. And it wasn’t the forced, nervous chuckle for once. “I- i get what you mean i think. Things have been weird lately, haven’t they? Like you want to break the wall and see what’s really behind it. Or if you do one specific thing, like an achievement from a video game, it’ll set you free from this world.” Jess shot up. “Yea, yea, exactly like that!” He exclaimed. Did someone FINALLY understand what he was saying? “You get it, don’t you?” Elijah smiled and nodded, pulling on the collar of his shirt. They talked for a while after that, hours, and finally, Jess learned some more things about the nervous and lonely man named Elijah. He was right, the man was quite pathetic and sad. But it was a good time. “Y’know, i really feel maybe the world isn’t real. Maybe, y’know, me and you, were the only two real ones. The only two that know the truth of the world.” Jess suggested with a sigh, looking at the other man again who had paused for a moment, who had shown the slightest bit of a frown. Jess blinked, his eyebrows furrowing. It was just a split second before Eliajh was back to talking and agreeing wirh him. But that split second had Jess’ mind racing. He didnt listen in on the other mans words, who seemed to be speaking about reincarnation or something. He was just too far deep in his brain. Was he making too much out of something small? Probably. But the way Elijah had looked at him- he knew the man was a great liar. Maybe Elijah was just going along with all of this. Maybe he really thought Jess’ was crazy, and was just doing this to get more information on him. He must’ve been. Maybe he wasnt even truly his friend in the first place. The man was always too secretive, nervous and friendly. His mind continued to race before- “Elijah, I have to go.” He blurted out, and Elijah looked at him, surprised. The surprise of a fake man. In Jess’ eyes at least. In Jess’ eyes, all of it was a lie. “Why is that?” Elijah asked, sounding rather disappointed. The rational part of his brain told Jess that he was blowing this out of proportion. He didn’t typically listen to that part of his brain. His doctors frequently told him that. He rolled his eyes and put his shoes on. “Because.” He said, and then he just left, likely leaving the people pleasing man in a worry that he had messed up. But he didnt care, anyways. He just needed to go home.

The sounds of walking fill the air, Laughing, talking, it’s all so loud, you’re the only one silent. They pay no mind to you, giving you a quick glance. They think you’re weird, they think you’re a freak. They’re probably right.

You hold your tray and walk to the cafeteria. The lunchroom is loud, it makes you want to panic. You don’t, you just act like you’re fine. You sit alone, embarrassed and lonely. You hope no one pays mind to you. But you feel their stares, And you just want to hide away forever. But you can’t.