I can no longer see the world There are no rose colored glasses. the truth has now unfurled Now time passes like molasses

All hope is gone I can’t close, I cant shut I guess again ill wait till dawn but, I can’t, it’s too much smutt.

Reality It’s not what I expected it to be. It’s not the years of schooling Or learning to be a functional member of society It’s being a cog A cog in comfortable machine A cog in a comfortable machine living Groundhog Day Awakening is painful It’s getting pulled away from the warmth of Reality It’s Loving embrace It’s loving embrace that covers lies and deceptions It holds you in hopes that you forget its abuse It holds you to remind you “You depend on me” But you dont Awakening is realizing that this reality is a parasite Poisoning you into believing lies that sound of your voice But they are not yours They are distorted reflections of the broken dreams of others Awakening is finding out that there is more than one reality And you can find one that fits Instead of forcing yourself to fit in the reality of others My new reality is awakening.

When I was younger, I remember I used sneak out in the middle of night to go to my brothers room. Those were the eternal days, when days and nights used to last epochs. My brother, Aditya was the most beautiful being ever created. Even as a child he was regal, golden. His light shone bright wherever he went. We were inseparable. As the universe was continued to be created and more creatures came into being, I realized that I was different from my brother. Where he would shine golden and attract everything with his warmth, they would flee from me. My mother once tried to tell me that what wasn’t understood was usually feared. That was when I realized I was the darkness. When I came out people ran back into their homes. Unless Aditya was there. When he was around, I didn’t seem so scary, in fact, they seemed more curious about me. In his way, my brother was protecting me. A defense against the harshness of the world.

It was with him that I was my true self, the darkness in the night, the guide to the stars, the light in the dark. No matter what happened I would always return to the safety of his arms. Until I couldn’t. Father began to send Aditya away for many hours at a time . He wanted me to be strong and independent and find my own place in the world. But my place wasn’t outside of my brother’s love. And I never stopped needing him…