a shuddering breath, a sharp tang. it’s so strong, so unyielding. she’s quiet, she’s so quiet. the way her chest stilled, the way her blood lulled, the way her pulse fell. she watched, mesmerized. fascination, that was the only lesson, she ever needed to learn.

there was a moment, a few weeks ago. it was so small, fleeting as it passed. it’s not what i meant, the words leave an echo. you stand up tall, tell me that you never asked. your beautiful indignation, that quiet sense of pride. she reveals herself to me, a secret that must be prized. a soft and gentle smile, i’ll stay here for a while.

the birds crow a weeping melody, trees clean of leaves. i am the weeping willow tree, you’re clean of me.

earthquakes no longer feel foreign to my body. they are close to me, in my bones. closer than your breath, and your skin. do you remember, the aftershocks? did you tremble, with the earth? landslide, under my feet. no place to hide, no more you and me. violent shaking, the lust of movement. i’ve grown used to it.

i feel fine. i feel fine. i feel fine. cracks in cement, and in my bones. everyone asks, and nobody knows. i feel fine. i feel fine. i feel fine. it’s christmas, nowhere to be found. they’re waiting up, i’m in the ground. i feel fine. i feel fine. i feel fine.

my chest rises, i resent it. lungs expanding, and then collapsing. i am alive, i am breathing. i used to like fall, now i just feel the cold. it’s scorpio season, i want to tear my hair out. do you think your death is a water sign? does it flow through me? does it drown me? because i feel it like i used to feel you.