Covers pushed to our feet My head on his chest, I can hear his heart Room wreathed in soft shadows His hand rough against the skin of my back Soft breeze caressing our bodies
It’s quiet. I haven’t felt this settled, this still, this comfortable In I don’t know how long I feel grounded Tomorrow seems far away Right now seems to stretch forever
He shifts “Did you ever mean it?” He says it quietly But I know what he’s asking for A story he’s heard hints of Pieces reflected in my eyes In the clenching of my jaw In the whispers as I pass through a room A story he deserves to know
“Once, yes. But only once.” I whisper back Clinging tighter to the comfort I feel slipping away I quiet, trying to figure out how to start This is my life It’s woven so tightly into my being I’m not sure how to separate it from myself
“You have to understand, I was just a child” I guess the only place to start Is the beginning
They say it only appears once in a blue moon. When the light hits the street right between the old library and pillared courthouse. At exactly 5 past 6. When the snow has melted and there’s been no heavy rain in 9 days. Only when it’s been 3 days with the scent of fresh cut grass and baked bread at the edge of the air. It’ll only appear if you’ve walked past the alley a time and half. And only if you have been looking for an answer long enough to feel hopeless. It is only then that the bridge will appear. A bridge for you. A bridge that will help you find what you are seeking. One that will help you bridge your thoughts from confusion to clarify. It will answer your prayers. You only have to remember to look up.
Somewhere in the world, high an a sea too cliff there is a little town. And on the edge of that town lies a little cottage. It’s separated from the town by a small grove of trees. It’s surrounded by a low wooden fence that’s bent slightly too the right from too much wind. The front yards slightly overgrown and the shutters are light green. The cottage is painted white but it’s more of a light grey, coated from decades of salty air. On the porch sits a chair. Big enough to curl up in and sturdy enough to hold anyone. Inside the cottage is a bedroom, right off the kitchen. With a window facing the sea. Two of the walls are covered in bookshelves. Every shelf double filled with books. In fact the whole room smells slightly of old paper. The other walls hold an assortment of shelves filled with Knick knacks and artwork hangs in between. The room is taken up by a bed. One that is always the right temperature. No matter how hot or cold. During the day the window is left open and by night the room smells like salt spray and books. Old bookstores. And sunny beaches. Bliss.
I stare. The wind rushes past me, bringing with the smell of of plastic and wood burning, and I can’t think. Burning, burning. My minds empty, all I can do is stare. I feel like I’m floating, removed. Above this burning world. “My son”. The thought slips in and suddenly time starts moving faster. I spin around to the shadows behind me. “I know your there” I scream. “I know your there. You told me I had enough time! You told me…” “what did I say?” The void calls. “You said I had enough time to save him. You told me if I found the prophecy for Them, I could save him” The void chuckles. “You should know better my dear. I made no promises.” I turn. There’s no use arguing. Before I know it I’m running through the city, my shirt over my nose. Smoke filling my eyes. I’m screaming. “Levi!” “Levi!” “Levi!” I can’t hear anything, it’s just one solid block of noise. A great mix of screaming and crackling fire. I run up and down the streets, looking, searching for that blue flannel. I run past the neighborhood park. Nothing. The school nothing. The library. The market. Max’s house. Everywhere. I’ve looked everywhere twice now. Nothing. I can’t breath. I run some more, coming up on the town square, I stop. My eyes are burning. I can’t breath. I can’t see. My son. Levi. There’s a crash behind me. The old apartment building is collapsing. Buildings are falling to pieces around me. I have to get our, but my son. This town. It was supposed to be my safe place. I brought my son to grow up here. This place. My son. Levi. We spent 12 years here, safe, before They found us. My visions going black around the edges. My son. Levi. I need to get out. The void chuckles again. “How could you do this? My son. You said I had time. I found Them the prophecy. I did what you asked. You said I could save him.” I plead. “Everything I did was for a false hope. You monster! All of you” a spin around. “I was just a pawn. There was never going to be enough time was there? Everything I did was in vain. My son. Levi.” The black creeps further into my vision and I’m out.
Tonight will be our last sunset. You will never see me again. As the sun rises I will fade with the shadows. Tomorrow I will be nothing but a recollection at the edge of your mind. A fleeting memory. One that appears when you least except it and that you will never quite be able to recount. It’s ok. This is how it goes. I am not meant to be remembered. It’s ok. I will always remember you. This is how it goes. You will become a pennant fixture in my moms. A memory I will call up whenever I need the comfort and happiness. Because you, my love, are unforgettable. This sunset may be our last but it is not the last you will ever see. Don’t be scared. Shhhh. It ok. My love, it’s ok. I will fade but you… you will love. You will be bright, a light they will not be able to ignore. And every sunset you see will be better then the last. Don’t be scared.
