It used to be much easier to forgive than to forget. “Just wipe down the table and make sure you’ve swept!” I am done getting over things and building bridges, cuz what’s life without a couple of ridges? You say it doesn’t matter but you know it’s not true, but I’ve realized things that matter to me don’t matter to you. They say to say sorry just because it’s what’s right but what if I want a fight? What if I wanna talk about what’s right and what’s wrong? Everything is the same old song. You say things you don’t mean like people do behind movie screens. Just because it takes time to heal doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have to deal. But I’ll let you have this because it’s one of those things. When you’re married and have kids don’t forget that you’re the one who bought the ring. The ring in which you promised til death do you part, although life is like a shopping cart. Sometimes you put too many things in that you cannot afford, some things don’t always deserve an award. If you bite off more than you can chew…wouldn’t that be a stupid thing to do? But you’ll go in debt and lose your house up until you can only afford the mouse. The mouse that stays in the hole in the wall. Gee, I thought you said you knew it all? After all this, you still wouldn’t admit, that you my friend are in deep shit. You’ll move out of state, take the kids and leave behind the stupid things you did. Your wife will file for divorce because she doesn’t wanna take this course. This course is not one she signed up to take, don’t you see now that you’ve made a mistake? Of course you don’t because you chose this fight, so you leave and get on a one way flight. You go to a city that rains all day so you can have your own parade. This my friend is what it’s like when you choose the wrong fight.

“I can’t believe you’re going with her!”

I’ve been following my sixteen year old sister around our house for the past hour after she decided to believe our sorry excuse for a mother. Again.

“Reece, Give it up!” She says as she slams one of the boxes into the back of our mother’s green Volvo.

That’s the ugliest car I’ve ever seen.

“She’s just using you Abby.” I’m following her into the house again. We make our way into her bedroom as she starts tearing stuff off of the walls.

Every time she tears, my heart aches. It took us almost two years to make this house look like a home. Then, she just comes in and takes it from us.

“I don’t know how many fucking times I have to tell you that!” My voice comes off harsher than I wanted it to.

Her back is facing me as she looks out of her window.

I know she’s crying.

“Abs, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-“

“Get out.”

Her voice is shaky, as she points to the door, her back still facing me.

“Abby...I didn’t mean to-“

“You know what Reece? There’s a lot of things you don’t mean to do and you apologize an awful lot. Doesn’t that make you just like her?” She wipes the tears from her face with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. “At least I expect the lies from her.” I hear the grit in her teeth as she shoves past me and down the stairs

I run down the stairs after her. Not before bumping into some baggage on my way down and by baggage I mean my mother.

“Outta my way!” I demand as harsh as possible.

“That’s no way to talk to your mother.”

“That was no way for you to treat us but yet you still did...some mother you are.”

I try pushing past her but she grabs my arm.

“Reece...how long are you gonna stay mad at me?”

I smirk.

“That depends...how long are you gonna keep up this act?”

“What are you-“

I interrupt her before she finishes her sentence.

“The act in which you get a little money in your pocket and start acting all high and mighty. Then you think you can just swoop in and come and grab us whenever it’s convenient for you...but once all the money is gone...you go with it.” My voice cracks at the end and I look away before a tear makes its way out of my eye and down my cheek. I take a deep breath and wipe the tear away before I turn back around.

“Abby’s all I’ve got...please don’t take her away from me...again.”

Her expression softens as she tries to look all motherly. She rubs her hand against my cheek.

“So come with us...I promise, this time everything will work out.”

She’s said this before. If you’re wondering. My life is like watching your least favorite movie over and over again.

“You don’t deserve to give out promises to anyone.” I snap as I snatch her hand from my face and run down the stairs continuing my search for Abby. Tears threaten to sting my eyes but I force them not to.

She doesn’t deserve my tears either.

After searching through the whole house for Abby, I decide to give up. I walk through the kitchen as I make my way back up to my room. Before, I make it up the stairs, I hear creaking sounds coming from outside. I scavenge around looking for where the sound is coming from. I look through the window in the kitchen.

Abby’s sitting in the porch swing in the garden.

I go over to the coat closet and grab a jacket as I head out of the back door and into the backyard.

When, I enter the backyard she doesn’t notice me until I’m standing in front of her. She begins to open her mouth but I shake my head as I hand her the jacket. She’s confused at first but then accepts the jacket. I take a seat beside of her as I wrap my arm around her shoulders.

“We don’t have to talk about it anymore...I think if that’s what you want, then you should do it.”

She’s quite for a while.

“And if shit hits the fan?”

“I’ll be here...arms open.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

I don’t break promises.

My brother, Dakota, he was always really into gaming and all that techy stuff. Ever since we were kids. Your laptop froze? Dakota had it fixed in an hour at the least. Your crappy desktop from 1995 moving too slow? Dakota had it fixed like new. But one thing about Kota is that he believed anything. He’d probably be one of those idiots who got offered ice cream and would go into the back , not realizing that it was in fact not an ice cream truck. One day, he got an email from this big company and my mom and I thought it was pretty sketchy but he’d explained how he’d been applying for offers at companies all week. This one was just one of the many. So, this one was supposedly very legit. He did all the things he was supposed to. Filled out the information and stuff online. A couple weeks after, he felt as if he was being followed. Mom and I had been telling him to be careful with that stuff and he promised he would. There was really nothing we could do, to convince him otherwise.

I remember the night before he disappeared.

“Mads?” He says while looking at the ceiling.

We shared a room in a small apartment, while our house was being built on the other side of Cincinnati. I didn’t mind. I liked small, cozy spaces.

“Yeah...?” I question, looking up from my laptop.

I had this big term paper that I had to have finished by midnight on Monday.

It was Thursday and I was nearly halfway through.

“Can I ask you something?”

Annoyance overcame me. I love my brother...seriously. But even though he’s got one of the purest hearts and he’s good with technical stuff. He’s usually finding these dead end assignments that never fall through. I end my sentence with a period before turning towards him to give him my full attention.

“Sure.”

“Do you ever feel like you’re being followed?”

“Like...creepy stalkerish followed?”

He sits up to look at me.

“Yeah...something like that.” He’s now rubbing the back of his neck.

“What makes you think so?”

“You know how in scary movies.... when like the main character is like walking to school or something and someone is walking behind them the whole time but they don’t ever catch them? But they keep looking behind them continuously because they can sense something?”

“Sure, yeah.”

“That’s how I feel.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing Kota... after all you did say that you made sure all of the jobs you applied for were legit and you did online interviews with real people...what’s the issue?”

I now realize what I was saying was just something to wave him off so I could get back to my term paper.

His eyes shift. As if he’s given up.

“Maybe you’re right...I have an in-person interview tomorrow that’s probably what it is. I’m just nervous.”

“Yeah...that’s probably it.”

He gets up to turn his lamp on before changing into some comfortable clothes, I’m already back on my paper by now.

“Night, Mads.” He says before going to turn the lamp off and getting into bed.

“Night.”

The next morning, when I woke up he’d already left before me.

Something felt off. I ignored the feeling as I got ready for my day. School was cancelled due to a teacher workday and so that gave me more time to work on my assignment.

So, after I ate breakfast and went for my run, I worked on my paper all day until about 6 in the evening. Only stopping to eat some dinner. It was Friday, so I ordered take out.

I had texted mom to let her know I ordered dinner.

In which I got an immediate response that said that she was on her way.

I’d also texted Dakota to let him know.

In which I did not get a response.

Which was weird because his phone is always glued to his hand. I wasn’t worried about it though because he had an interview and maybe he got it and didn’t get a chance to look at his phone.

I told myself this so I could subside the feeling in my stomach.

My mom got home an hour and a half later.

After she’d taken a shower and we sat down to eat dinner she’d explained how she hadn’t talked to him either.

Then we heard his phone ringing.