Every time I try to get back on my feet, I fall again. Every time I think about a year ago, I lose all of my motivation; and I fall back down. I watch the sky turn into a blanket of darkness and wonder if I’m going to be the sky one day. If I’m going to get back up and not even think about stopping. And if I did stop, everyone else would fall. Or maybe that is the reason I don’t want to get up. Too much pressure colliding into me, making sure I can’t get up. Making sure I don’t want to get up. But maybe I should prove all of the darkness in my mind wrong. Maybe I should think for myself. Maybe I should live before it’s too late. I know I will be upside down in the future, but the important thing is that I get up.

I can’t wait to visit Ri-Ri’s house again. It’s a grey house with a black rooftop. Ri-Ri has a garden with all types of flowers. He says that they make the place more vibrant and that it contrasts the big black fog above the house. Even though I don’t know what contrast means, I pretend that I do because Ri-Ri seems like he is lonely. When I first came to Ri-Ri’s house, I was terrified of the black fog. I saw the pretty flowers and ran to them. When Ri-Ri found me, he had tears in his eyes. He later told me that hundreds of years before I first came to his house, when there were fields of wild flowers, and a gigantic waterfall; he had a big family, but an evil person took them away. Ri-Ri said that that person cursed him to take people to the same place that his family had went.

 I was always at Ri-Ri’s house for only a few minutes before I went back to the hospital, that’s what Mommy calls it. I call it the place-that-has-extremely-firm-beds. Extremely is a word that Ri-Ri taught me last time I came to visit.
 Ri-Ri said that I was smart for a five-year-old. I wonder if he had a smart five-year-old before that evil man took Ri-Ri’s family away. I think Mommy feels that way everytime I go to Ri-Ri’s house. Whenever I come back, I see Mommy crying. Whenever I ask her what’s wrong, she gets up and embraces me like she thought I was going to die. 
 Last time I went to Ri-Ri’s, a scrawny, bald man came to the door. He was asking for a person that was due in the underworld a few months ago. Ri-Ri said that there was no one at our house for months. When I woke up, Mommy wasn’t there like always. She was talking to Dr. Kelly. “Melody is not going to get better.”
 “But…”my mother stuttered. 
 Your insurance is not going to cover the cost any longer. I’m sorry.”
 “Mommy? What’s happening?” Mommy embraces me like she always does. “Nothing sweetheart, I was just having an adult conversation with Dr. Kelly.” I can see the tears in her eyes dissolve into a happy smile. Mommy was great at hiding her feelings. Whenever Daddy left us, she put on a happy smile and pretended that she was fine. She was not fine. “I love you.” I said. “I love you too.” She didn’t show me her tears after that. 
  A few minutes later, I went back to Ri-Ri’s house. I’ve been going to Ri-Ri’s house more often lately. Although I love Ri-Ri, I don’t want Mommy to worry about me. When I got to Ri-Ri’s house, he wasn’t outside to greet me. I knocked on the door to his big house. No one answers so I go in. 
 I can hear Ri-Ri talking to someone familiar. I walk down the big corridor, playing hopscotch with the pattern on the floor. I follow the voices until I see two shadows.
 “No one has came here in months . So leave.” Ri-Ri says to the skinny shadow. “Does the Grim Reaper, the King of Death, have a soft spot for a little girl? How cute.” Grim Reaper? Ri-Ri never taught me that word.
  “No girl has-“
  “Don’t lie to me! I’ll take the girl to the Underworld myself.”
  “No, you are not going to take her.” Ri-Ri is always calm, which I don’t understand. If you lose your family, and are all alone; you should be angry and sad. Or maybe I am the reason he’s not sad all of the time. Maybe I let him be happy. 
  “What are you going to do to stop me?” The skinny shadow asks.
  “I-I… I will sacrifice myself for her.”
  “Ha! You’re willing to sacrifice your soul for a little girl?”
  “Yes.” I peek my head in the doorway.       “What’s going on?” 
 “I’ve got to go.”
 “What do you mean?”
 “I won’t be able to see you anymore.”
 “Why?” Tears form in my eyes.
 Ri-Ri sighs. “You’re Mom needs you. You need to go back to her.” 
 “B-But I thought you and me were going to be friends forever.”
 Ri-Ri’s face is strewn with tears. 
 “Goodbye.” Ri-Ri and the bald man start evaporating into thin air.
 “Wait! Don’t leave!”
That was the last time I went to Ri-Ri’s house again.

I can’t let him kill me. The lantern lights my path as the darkness closes in on me.
My dress betrays me as I trip on the fabric. My lantern is thrown in the air. I can’t let it’s light stop glowing. The lantern’s fire puffs out. My vision darkens. I’m alone with this monster. The cicadas drown my eardrums. My eyelids are pushed down against my will. I wake up in darkness. I can move my limbs, which is a relief. I hear shuffling battling the silence. I stiffen. “WHY?” A raspy voice yells at me. My throat is clogged. I can’t breathe. I panic. I hear footsteps coming towards me. I see his face. My husband. 2 hours ago “Dinner’s done!” I yell. I clean off the table. The radio is talking about a certain footballer that didn’t catch the football last night. “Miles?” I yell again. Present I can finally breathe again. I know what is going to happen. I need to get out. He is so close that I can feel him breathing on me. I Need To Get Out. 2 hours ago “Miles?” I yell again. I walk the hall to our room. I peek into the doorway and see beer bottles strewn all across our room. Miles is passed out on the floor. What? Present His breath smells like alcohol. He’s been drinking. “Answer. Me.” Why did he calm down? Does he feel regretful? “Why what?” I mutter under my breath. As soon as I say it I know I will die in a few minutes. His face reddens in anger. A rush of anger comes over me. I slap him. I slapped him. I just slapped him. I Need. To. Get. Out. Am I signing my death wish? I tense. 2 hours ago “Miles?!” I jolt him awake. “What are you doing?” “You quit years ago! Are you trying to erase all the hard work you went through to quit?” “I was sleeping.” He said. “I don’t care if you were sleeping!” I replied. “Stop.” He doesn’t realize how upset I am that he would destroy all of his progress like this. “No!” I yell. Present He pulls his hand back, ready to smack me. I need to get out. I kick him with all of my might. 2 hours ago “STOP!” He shouts. “No! You’re not going to ruin your life!” His face shows a look I’ve never seen before. I gasp. He throws me across the room. I. Need. To. Get. Out. I get up as fast as I can and run out of the house, grabbing a lantern on the way. Present I’m petrified. I can’t move. He’s running towards me. I NEED TO GET OUT! I black out then. All I remember is seeing him lying on a pool of blood and then I ran away.