The battles we have been through together. The damage I have taken for your choices! I was with you before your first pube hair came in and I saw what you did to your cousins photo. Yet I sit here on a shelf, lost among fast food wrappers, erotic anime that I do not even think you can open anymore…and MT Dew caps. For the knowledge of Boccob, I do not understand why I have a film of dust on my shield and Sword. Why have I not heard the song of the Bard in forever and a day? My mug is dry of ale and my bed is cold and lonely. This is no life for a Battle Master!
“I am not a toy to be used.” I bayed across the bedroom.
“I am a mighty warrior that desires the need for blood to clean my sword and for the thrill when averting the plastic shapes you toss near me!” His screams dipped off sadly.
The Boy was now a Man and could not hear his friend on the shelf. His imagination was no longer open and believed such things as comics and role playing games to be nerdy. Things like booze, girls and two tracking interested him now that his cherry had been popped.
The Battle Master was given to Goodwill a couple years later when the parents cleared out the trash and toys left behind after their son perished in a gruesome drinking accident.
As for our remaining character, he will end up finding a real Man who still appreciates imagination and a good story. Together they will fight and conquer the most immersive battles and be safe at home while drinking with their buddies.
The moral of this story. Nerds live longer.
Keeping our real truth from those that care for us is constant aches for me, the guilt ulcers save their lives though. No one should know who I am. Tonight I must come out from behind the mask and leave it all out there. The decision on where our relationship goes will be in his ball park.
“Every time I was not able to be by your side or had to excuse myself away from you, I was lying why. The time I sat by the hospital window and held your hand as she took her last breaths…there was a murder happening four blocks away, that I had to choose not to stop. Love is wonderful for those that can be common. Love feels selfish when you have abilities that responsibly need to be used for the greater good of all. I did not ask to be born in to this life and I certainly did not mean to fall for you. But I can’t stop falling babe. And how can I save people if I don’t know where I’ll land. I need you to know the real me and to understand when I can not be near it is because I have to listen and answer distressing situations. This also come with the threat as being attached to someone who makes a lot of enemies. This face can only stay out of the lime light for so long. With electronics and social media being an every day essential now, my secret has an expiration. Will you grow and continue to be in love with me?”
Our Hero then looks down at an ornate black suede box and sighs. It was now or never. With one last glance at the rings box, She stared in to her reflection off the alley way puddle for a moment, before snuggly placing the worn out mask on.
Tragedy lines the scars of our hearts, toxic memories burn the veins and these moments take their toll on our soul.
Grieving an energy that has caused so much pain, should be easy, no? Saying goodbye to a person, habit or addiction can be difficult. My Grandmother used to say as she cleansed a wound, “Pain is just weakness leaving the body.” I always thought that quick whipped antidote pertained to physical pain…it would take several scaring people to make me realize, it was for the whole.
For those of us that have felt that kiss of hardship, we sense and understand it when encountered. Those that have never been touched by this type of stain, fear what they have not felt. When someone weeps tears of true sorrow, are you the person to lend a stranger a hug of support…or will you turn away uncomfortably?
I tell my children that we are all snowflakes. Unique. Our feelings, personalities, perspectives and memories are all different. And like my before mentioned Granny would also say, “It takes all kinds to make the world go round.” You never know where someone is emotionally and you never know how your behavior will effect them. So always be respectful, understanding and kind. That we never know if we will be a reason, season or lifetime for someone we meet.
Do not let the scars placed on us, stain our souls. May the loss in death show us our true colors. Forever lighter then a feather.