I cannot move
I cannot think
My vision is all a blur
And my mind is full of you
Full of The brightness you gave before you went dark
Before you fell into that abyss of emptiness,
The happy you,
The smiling you,
The laughing you,
The prankster you,
The jokester you,
If only i knew how quickly that could fade away…
If only i knew that wasn’t actually you…
That the brightness was just a cove...
I can feel it…
The uneasiness that courses through my veins,
My mind does not feel like my own,
My thoughts altered by something unknown,
No
No
No
They said this wouldn’t happen
They said i would be fine
They all tell lies,
The doctors that told me to take this pill to ‘make it better’
Lies
Lies
Lies
This feeling never stops…
What the hell is happening?...
The voices
The people
They are always in my head
The blades
The unaliving
They are always on my mind
The sleepless nights
The warning signs
They all completely ignored
They said this wouldnt last long
So whys it still going on?
I wish they knew
I wish they would see
That this isnt me
Crawling in my head
Rotting in my bed
When will my ‘teenage dream’ become real?...
I try to be happy, i try everyday…
I do my favourite hobby’s,
I buy what i like,
I do what i like,
I watch favourite movies,
I cook my favourite foods,
I dress in my favourite clothes.
But still nothing works…
Im still exhausted,
Still tired,
Still sad,
Still empty,
Still numb.
How do i become whole again?
How do i become me again?...
One day i hope you will open your eyes,
One day i hope you will see the tears that run down my face, the scars embedded deep in my skin, the draining thoughts that cloud my mind, the continuous laughter of stupid kids that keep me awake, the exhaustion in my eyes, My wish that soon i will die
There is so much emotion in me that i wish for you to see ,
So please,
Open your eyes before its too late ...
Life without you would would push me into a never ending void,
A life without you would put a hole in my heart,
A life without you would drive me insane,
My life will always need you, without you there would always be something missing,
You saved me at my darkest times in life,
Without you what is the point in living?...
These flowers you kept they always bloomed but when you died they resembled nothing but the memories of you that died with them, you kept them alive and in a way i think they kept you alive but what was once bright petals that resembled your personality are now grey, lifeless flowers that resemble nothing but your devastating death, for your death we will mourn forever and your death we can never ...