Love has never been three words followed by a form a punctuation. It’s the way she looks at you when you lay in bed. How she holds your hand just a little tighter when the song that means just a little bit more comes on. How your eyes will meet in a crowded room soon followed with a smile. The same smile that you yearn to see after a long day. How her laugh washes away the hardships that have come before. The way you dance in the kitchen while making dinner. All while see sings at the top of her lungs. The fact that she will be the only one to know you this way. Love has never been three words followed by punctuation. It’s always been the ways you fall in love everyday.

I couldn’t remember what happened last. All I could remember was falling asleep staring at my ceiling. I woke up standing at the podium in front of thousands. All quiet, but eyes set on me. Eagnerness set in their eyes as if they were waiting for me to give them all the answers. I looked down to my hands. Fragile and wrinkled. They reminded me of my grandfathers. I reached for the blank sheet of paper in front of me titled, “The Meaning of Life.” The crowd still sitting stoic as I looked around trying to find a single remnant of what to say. I thought of all the famous speeches in history. The good doctor King, Susan B Anthony, and even honest Abe. Nothing. I looked down at my hands again and thought of the teachings of my grandfather. It all started to come to me at once.

“I stand before you today as a man who has made many mistakes.” The crowd began to perk up in their seats as if the words I was preaching were the gospel. “It’s true that we search for the meaning of life and many never get the opportunity to find it. Even as I stand before you today I’m not sure that I know exactly what it is or if I might ever find it. We can get bogged down as we continue to look for meaning. The reasons we were put here on this Earth. You see many people search their whole lives looking and never stop to look around. To see how beautiful the journey can truly be.” I began reminiscing of the stories my grandfather would tell me as he sat in his lazy boy. How he was always upset he never stopped and took the time to appreciate where he was at. “What I have come to tell you is the truth. There is no constraint to the meaning of life. All we can do as people is appreciate that the journey is our own. We are all unique in that sense. I’ve learned that opening up the journey can bring many things. Hurtful and amazing all in one.” I look to the side and see a collection of people. All in resemblance to the people in my life. “You see I can look around and see a man I used to hate, who now goes by uncle when my kids call his name. I look to a women who the world tried to keep down, but she continued to fight and still seems to find the joy that life can bring. I guess what I am trying to say is this. Fall in love. Fell the pain that life can bring. Hear your heart beat for the ones you love. Take the opportunity. Most importantly, appreciate the journey more than the end result. Don’t look towards finding the actual meaning, but look to be true to yourself through the journey.”

As he drives away I begin to think. I pray he stays far away. Not out of hatred, but out of hope. You see we were both forged in the fire of our own minds. Maybe that’s why we understood each other so well. The children that we used to be died a long time ago. The men that we had built ourselves to become, slowly became damaged. We found comfort in the broken and the damned. We became reminders that we had left pieces ourselves throughout this life. As he drives away I begin to think, we will always be brothers. But to be whole, we need to leave the biggest piece of ourselves behind.

Stuck in a world that always moved fast, Came a boy who never forgot the past. Looking for love that was lost in the stars, He searched for her, even in bars. He remembers the time he laid eyes on her. For the first time he knew he was sure. Falling in love came with a price, But he never even thought twice. In his mind he had always known, In her arms, he found his home.

I was foolish to believe I could have something so pure. My past self laughs at me as I stare into the mirror. My grief standing right next to him. The screams I have kept in rise in my chest as the tears I have held back weigh me down. She never saw this side of me and never would. When I was with her, all of this melted away. She brought a peace to the violence that swayed in my mind. When she said those three words, I froze. Not because I didn’t love her back, but out of the fear that my darkness would outweigh her light.

I remember looking into her eyes. Soft and gentle. A reminder of the good. In that moment she might of saw a hero. A man that could do no wrong. For me, I finally understood the villains. Not their anger or their lust for evil, but if having her meant setting fire to the world. I would watch it burn.

He kissed the sky as his mother did him. Looked down to the ones who always looked grim. Smiled at the stars and stared towards the moon. Eyes set straight as he hoped it wouldn’t end soon. Forever became a moment in time as he reached with both hands. To the one that he loved that gave him a chance.