I’m sorry I’ve been away. I wish I had something to say. But I always want to be profound just for the hell of it. The art of the self should be enough for us, you know? Keep the critic quiet, she’s been at the wheel for long enough, let her go. And just make a wish for yourself that you can stop being a user of that drug called doubt. When it stops you from feeling, it’s time to get to get it out
Free what needs to be created. Make mistakes, make perfection. Creation is meant to be a playground, not a graveyard. You’re still not convinced? Well, let me tell you this You made your doubts Regardless of whom planted them in the garden of your heart, you may be watering them. I say this in the thick of it, not from the other side you can rise above it all, and in the end be filled with pride.
Rigor mortis had already set in, but I managed to wrestle her fingers open. The hand writing was smudged and illegible in places, but it was evidence enough. Evidence that this friend of mine was not beloved by everyone, No tip of the hat, no kiss of the ring. Just a knife to the heart, we trick ourselves into thinking that we are immortal. Not true. What this fine lady had written on the crumpled up piece of paper was almost funny. Humans, at least the selfish ones, always try to bargain in the end. But it takes two to make a deal, and obviously whoever she tried to haggle with wasn’t in the mood. The note simply said: “Keep them back for just ten more years and you can have my great grandson instead. But like I said it takes two to make a deal. The angelic blade in her shriveled up raisin-heart would probably put her out of the deal-making business forever. The sand had run out on her hourglass a long time ago. The river Styx was waiting.
Someone told me that the house was hungry when I was little. Little dead things lived up in the attic room and would know if I I tried to get inside. In two years I had never thought about going into that house, until my dog pulled away from me when I was walking her. I thought she would come back if I was persistent enough, I was wrong, no matter how many times I called her name she wouldn’t come back. When I come to the border between my neighborhood and the woods I stopped, the house was just beyond the trees, I froze. Only when I heard my dog barking ahead of me did I snap out of trance. “It’s only a house it’s not going to hurt you you’re a big girl now, Aubrey.” I hadn’t noticed that I was whispering to myself until I heard a soft voice behind me.
“Did it call you or are you an early arrival?” I just about jumped out of my skin and turned around The thing I saw was my shadow stretching out on the ground behind me, “Early arrival?” The voice spoke again, only this time from in front of me. “So you’re early then?” I thought I heard a small sigh and then after a pause. “I’m sorry to hear that.” “Wait what are you talking about? I’m just trying to find my dog did she go inside that house or something?” Now the voice was far ahead of me. “Why don’t you come inside and see for yourself?” I thought about it for a minute, I was going crazy, I had to be if I talking to invisible people. But, my dog always had my back, so it was time to return the the favor.
“Okay, Miss Invisible, lead the way.” Don’t call me that!” Just because I’m small doesn’t make me invisible!” I thought I felt someone tugging on my ear and pulling me up to the house. The house was made out of gray, rotting wood. The house had thin walls and was very cold. Inside the smallest room someone was waiting for me, he had kind eyes and was holding my dog.
Hello, I see you’ve met my Pixie, don’t worry she can’t hurt you.” He winked and as he did, a little pink fame sparked to life beside him. “Aubrey? Meet Tinker Bell.” “Tink, you’re already acquainted with Aubrey?” The little pixie rolled her eyes. “Next time you handle the new kids, she called me small!”
“Aubrey?” I’m sorry I have to say this but you’re dead.” I felt my legs going out from under me. “If She’s Tinker Bell.” He nodded. I’m Peter.” He took my hand. “Second star to the right, and straight on till morning.”
I thought my plan was perfect. I thought no one would know.. I thought the gold was mine, but this isn’t my show. The Mystery Van will be in my nightmares for years, There isn’t much to do now but cry out all my tears. Trading stories with the others of our failures and fears.
But how did they know? How did I blow it? Was it the dog that made me sink so low? Was that what got in the way? All I know is my hatred grows with every day. And back to my cell, I will leave you, just a few more things to say. If you see those kids, that dog, you’re better off going soon. That shadow you see is your looming.... Scooby-Dooby- Doom!
I live for Sumo, no question. Everyone tells me that my dreams of being a Sumo wrestler are the stupidest things they’ve ever heard. But I’ve wanted to do it ever since I participated in the foreign exchange program at my school and got to go to Japan for six months last year. My name is John Bloom, my and I’m not going to apologize for loving Sumo, like I did before. And when Sam texted me and told me I had to be true to myself and live my dream I took that as divine intervention. Yes I’m a bigger guy, no, I’m not your traditional hero but I like it that way. I like to surprise people.
I decided I would take all of the money that I have been saving to get my own apartment and use it for a plane ticket back to Japan. Using what was left over for sumo classes. It took a few months, working on my language skills; trying out for several semi-professional heyas, or stables, and finally, after what seemed like an eternity I was excepted into one. I won a lot of my matches, and eventually I was contacted by a fledgling heya in the US. They wanted me to help train the new recruits. Of course that would mean that I would have to leave my group.
I went back-and-forth on it for a while measuring the pros and cons of everything. Finally with a very heavy heart, I decided it was time to go back home. But not before my friends and I had one last outing as a team. We decided that we would use the location of the last event that I was going to be a part of, in the Shinjuku region of Japan as a backdrop for our last hurrah together, at least for a while. We found tall, bright sunflowers. We decided it would be fun to put on our gear and interspersed ourselves within the flowers. But who would hold the camera? All of my friends wanted to be in the shot, Considering I didn’t know when I would see them next, I agreed to hold the camera. In the end it was a good decision because I was glad my entire heya was in the picture, as they have all become my family.Maybe one day I’ll elaborate more on them but for now I will leave you with the image of grown men In sumo gear just enjoying a summers day in a field of towering sunflowers!さようなら [Sayonara]
Show me everything you think I am, and I will show you who you are. The seeds that made me so bizarre? Well they were sewn by you. The train car I was thrown from has been abandoned, long-ago. I know what I was supposed to be, But it gave up the ghost before the orchids came into view. Shiny red apples, shiny green apples. “Shiny red apples are we!” But I will not sing your fight song for I do not know the words. My armor is far too impregnable for any verse to traverse. The train fell short of the mark you wanted, Not the one I needed. The soldier I am came to a different stop. A difference in plot. Consider this my Pineapple Expression.
I never thought I would get married, before him at least. I met Sam Bloom at the Boston public library one year ago today He had a bunch of sci-fi paperbacks stuffed under one arm, coffee in his free hand. We got to talking about books and... Sam left the library with my name and number written in pink gel pen on the side of that paper coffee cup. I had made the “O” in Robin into a smiley-face [Cute right?] Sam drew a happy little alien on the palm of my hand with a sharpie, along with his information
I’m pretty sure we saw each other all the time after that, and it wasn’t long before he said he loved me. Six months later, he asked me to marry him. Young. Stupid. I accepted. Fast forward to today, I am coming back from the flower shop on the corner. When I got to the apartment that we shared with Sam’s best friend Matthew. I didn’t hear the Xbox playing in the living room. I thought they would be playing it all day considering Matthew had just ordered the new Madden game. Silence. I walked into the living room Xbox controllers on the floor, widescreen television glowing blue.
Just as I was about to put the controllers away and turn off the TV I heard a noise coming from the bedroom... I went into the master bedroom to investigate and found the source of the sound. It was this stifled giggle and it had been coming from my fiancé's best friend. The man I loved was lying beside him. They didn’t see me at first, the way Sam was looking at Matthew I knew this wasn’t some sort of misunderstanding or hallucination. This was real. This was happening. Without meaning to, I dropped the pile of flower arrangement magazines I had been holding onto the floor. They finally noticed me then. Realization trickling over them slowly, like molasses. I couldn’t move I wrapped my arms around myself and waited. For what? I don’t know. Surprisingly I was the first one to find my voice. “How long?”It was a reasonable question to ask my opinion.
The response came in the form of a whisper “I’m so sorry, Robin. I didn’t mean for this to happen.” I almost laughed, “This is not not like leaving something in the oven for too long Sam.” You can’t say you didn’t mean for something like that to happen, this is a lot different. My voice was more steady than I had expected it to be. Finally Matthew put in his two cents. “ I hope You’ll forgive me if I’m not nearly as sorry as he is about this, It’s probably better that it happened this way. I couldn’t help but notice neither of them are trying to make excuses, it was what it was. I slipped The ring off my finger. “I love you, Sam, love yourself please? for me?
