DAV19

Twas a dark and melodramatic night, and there DAV19 sat in his room writing silly little stories that made him giggle.

Writings

Followers

Following

DAV19

Twas a dark and melodramatic night, and there DAV19 sat in his room writing silly little stories that made him giggle.

Writings

Followers

Following

Walmart

DAV19

1 min read

“I found it at Walmart in the back to school section!” I replied.

“Damn. That’s a high quality backpack!” The figure said. “Thanks dad!”...

Humour

YA fiction

Funny Smell

DAV19

1 min read

What is that smell?

I have to know!

Is it a spell?

That’d be whack, yo.

I gave it a sniff;

I let out some giggles.

I gave it a whiff;

My diaphragm wiggles.

This thing doesn’t smell ‘bad’

Like an odor would.

If you thought that, lad,

You’re misunderstood....

Humour

Poetry

Not The Best Day

DAV19

3 min read

It began as all bad days do: the weather alarm was sounding through the neighborhood. I woke up with my heart pounding. An F-5 tornado was barreling towards my abode, dodging all of my other neighbors’ houses as if the weatherman had a personal vendetta against me and me alone.

My family scrambled out of the house with all of their valuable belongings. I couldn’t grab anything because I was still...

Humour

YA fiction

An Argument Against Space Travel

DAV19

1 min read

Space travel with those whimsical devices.

See strange worlds, taste alien spices.

Reach every star;

They’re no longer far,

But have you seen cosmic gas prices?...

Humour

Poetry

Jamison Gunther Needs Our Help

DAV19

2 min read

The night before I was Jamison Gunther, now I was a famous philosopher.

I woke up and found myself in a green room lying on a soft couch. I was startled to say the least, but I had no time to think, because 3 workers pulled me up from my resting position and frantically escorted me to the stage, warning me, “you’re on in 10 seconds, Bonny!”

I was just offstage, right behind some curtains, and I ...

Humour

Mother, Please

DAV19

1 min read

A dreaming, happy boy I was,

But like every morning does

It ends at times I cannot choose.

The mortal realm, a gloomy place,

I wipe eyelid crust off my face.

I roll over and press the snooze.

The dream world I do return to.

I dream of cats, I dream of you,

But, sadly, it does not last for long.

The door bursts open, enter Mom.

“You’ll miss the bus.” She’s far from calm.

I pretend to sleep; my a...

Poetry

Humour

Photographic

DAV19

1 min read

Photographic memory;

Given to me by God, I bet.

To forget was to forgive,

I knew I would never forget....

Poetry

Test

DAV19

2 min read

The invitation to go skinny dipping was indistinguishable from a fraudulent one. It was convincing to say the least, but Devin wasn’t surprised to find out that no one else would show up at the pool.

This college friend group had always tested Devin. For instance, they tested his strength back in September when they taped him to the couch while he was asleep, or in January when they covered the e...

Humour

Action & adventure

Sleepy Death Powder From a Shady Man

DAV19

2 min read

The alley way was precariously narrow, slicing down two adjacent cyber-punky buildings. The moist ground was of cracked concrete and littered with grime and futuristic amazon boxes.

Emerson walked down the thin passage to greet a shady man in a big, puffy jacket.

“Evening,” Emerson said.

“Howdy,” the shady man replied dubiously.

Emerson’s throat tightened in fear, and he swallowed a cartoonish...

Science fiction

Humour

Fix It Moe

DAV19

1 min read

Moe the shopkeep was working at the repair shop like any other day. He was sowing up a children’s toy like that one scene from Toy Story. Sticky sweat was trickling down the side of his face as he viciously restored the doll’s former glory.

The doorbell chimed as a funny little guy entered the shop.

“How may I help you today?” Moe the shopkeep said, his back facing the customer.

The funny littl...

Humour