I could sing a million songs about your love, about your home
I could preach a million words about your son and his ransom
I could walk a million miles, Tell the world about your heart
But I know it’s worth nothing, without love
So overflow me with your love Lord Make my heart a place of freedom Take away all my hatred Fill me with the love of Jesus
I could move every mountain with the faith of a seed
I could give all my wealth to those in need
I could give all of me and die on my knees
But I know it’s worth worth nothing if it’s all about me
I don’t want to walk this world without you No lord I need your love to guide me through I won’t walk this earth without you in it I need your love so I can save it
Streets are alight with the flicker of gas lit lamps
The steady trickle of rain from above soaks the pavement
Faces of poor and rich alike are concealed by their umbrellas
Footsteps quick and quit, footsteps loud and broken
Easy breathes come and go as carriages stumble down the street
Crowds of people move in complex patterns somehow in unison
Rain splatters from gutters gushing, spilling
Rain drops hover, quiet, seeking
Mud gathers in the crevices, Light in the eaves of houses
Quiet murmurs consume the air, loud voices the Cement
The buildings are cocooned with travelers and their structures pelted with mist
Shouts call across the twisted streets hit down by the rain
Steps rumble in the walkways drenched by the rain
Steps long and wide steps wet and waiting
Steps in the rain
His eyes shifted like the wind, his body pacing against the breeze. He looked down towards the water in pain internally wishing for them to meet. Fighting this will was his counterpart. The other that knew it was a feet of danger. His arms laid at his hips his feet always moving on the ground.
Over and over again the breeze fought his stance then pulled him away, then lost him again to his bodies will. His face downcast with internal war cried for the adrenaline.
The world faded from that cliff top blending sky water and earth together not allowing anything to be distinguished.
Again he paced walking back and forth towards the edge then returning to the safety of distance. Minutes passed. The world seemed lost in a motion of back and forth worrying time itself.
How long could time stand this battle between the soul and the mind?
The earth’s rotation quaked in its place waiting for his decision approaching insanity.
The fighting boy climbing towards the edge forcing his souls will to act overcame the winds call. Without another thought the boys feet left the ground plummeting his body into the cool grasp of the murky water.
Fear and danger losing to desire, the minds will forever forgotten.
He never knew. He would never know. Of course I never told him. Why would I. I thought maybe someday I could tell him give him some way to know but every try ended up in disaster. My heart was always left feeling guilty and angry.
Now here I am sitting on the edge of my woody window ledge. The night sky is blank above me. The clouds cover up the stars like a quilted blanket and a gentle breeze frizzes my curly hair.
He would learn in time. At least that is what I keep telling myself. That he would someday know how I felt. That he would know what I did.
My feet gently slip over my windows thin edge and I jump. My feet slam against the ground and my frail body crumbles into a floppy heap.
I made it. I made the jump. My legs pound with fierce intensity and my head is throbbing, but I am alive. That is all that matters.
Carefully I slip into the darkened meadow, lit by the light of the moon, a few steps away. Quietly I crouch down so my back is below the tall grasses. I don’t want him to know I’m out here. He can’t know that I’m gone.
I don’t want to leave but I have to. For his safety I must. But he can never know why. “Goodbye, Andy.” I whisper in the night. “Someday we will meet again.” I crouch there silently in the pitch black of night hoping for a returned call I know will not come. “Goodbye. Nos pro se.” I say again then walk off into the darkness. It is our saying. It is Latin but in English it means ‘We fight for each other.’ It is our way of saying I love you and I will be by your side in any battle.
My husband and I are marines. We have fought and served together but now we will be torn apart one way or another and the last he will remember of me is that I am a traitor and a liar.
Our commander in chief will come to our house tomorrow and I won’t be there. Then he will learn. When they come to arrest me, to throw my hands into shackles or put a bullet in my head he will know that I was the one who killed his brother, but he will never know why. He will never know why I did what I did. He will never know it was to save him.
Light engulfed the dark, encased by nothing but smoke, ash and fear as heat drizzled into every crevice and the stench of burning bark seeped into every particle of air. My feet fumbled as I began to run, the screams of women and children following my footsteps. Maybe I can make it I thought. The quite lake where I had spent most of my days with a laugh in my throat and sunscreen on my face was only a few more faltering steps away. It seemed so far to my little legs. Every tree along its edge was enclosed in a fiery hedge of orange, red, and white. There was no warning in the night, there was no hint, the world awoke with a fierce crack of flame and spurred the earth into panic, fire erupting from every inch of forest. The glimmer of water caught my eye and without another thought I jumped. Cool crisp ripples of water welcomed my furnaced flesh. My face surfaced above the silvery waves and my eyes burned with the horror of what was around me. Every house, every tree, every unfortunate person was left to the heat of the flames. I didn’t want to watch but I couldn’t pull my eyes away. Distracted by my fear I didn’t realize that the sky had given way to gentle forgiving rain. The water recurved with every drop and the burning wisps of flame recoiled. A strange sense of relief flooded my mind though my heart still pounded with the intensity of rolling thunder. I was safe. I had lost everything I ever loved but I was safe. With that I fell into a steady weep.
The wind is gushing through the branches Can’t you see the flutter of the leaves It’s voice calls the boughs to sway It’s voice erases all trace of time The trees must bow The branches must bend As dusk falls over the wood The breeze whispers the forest to sleep The deer is nuzzled and the bird swooned The forest returns the call
