I’ve had quick love Love that burns as rapid as a hot candle. No matter how long that candle may shine , it dies in my hands Leaving only burns.

I haven’t loved slowly.
The type of love who’s punch is delayed.

I wonder what it’s like to know someone before the heart skips. To know what it is I’m falling for.

Love at first sight is misunderstood. It’s a fantasy where your head fills in the gap for who they are.

The tree of our friendship bore the fruit of love. The tree grew slowly The fruit however…

Slow love. Would you dance with me ? Slowly. You say ya don’t know how to It’s not about the movements. I want you close.

Move with me. Enamorado con tu piel. Slow

Perhaps it is Love at first sight. Because now the love I have for you Feels likes it’s always been there.

I don’t know how to look at you anymore “How do you mean ?” There’s this version of you that smiles more. A you that chants along to songs until their lungs give
Then there’s a you who does dance. One who doesn’t worry about being good at it.

I’m a fool and I’m offended.
Foolish on my part for not believing you could get any more intriguing For believing I have seen all you have of yourself to offer. The offense is on you For holding back on me

And I am guilty, For I did water the tree and hoped it would bear fruit.

I believe my mother hid things from me. Her affirmations couldn’t hold the weight of a fly. I believe my mother lied to me. Her smile a play she’d perform to keep from finding her out. But I did.
I don’t believe my mother. My friends and classmates peaked her interest far more than I could’ve. Grades. Future College. Sports. I struggled in each one. I believe my mother wish she had another son. She always asked about my best friend. How he was doing. If he’s still varsity captain. How many scholarships he has now. If he’s still top of the senior class. I believe i disappointed my mother. Her only child , but far from the favorite.

It starts with your Laugh Your joy causing tears to fall My hand placed on your cheek to catch its descent. I’d lean in for a kiss, Your Eyes gleam from the hint , You’d naught ever resist. So begins our song.

Accelerando The Melody of our bodies syncing as we love to its tune. Ordained by orchestra, we follow its lead.

Decrescendo Fingers intwined, our breathes begin their solo I need not to rest for you give me life , No candles to burn Heat still fills up the room I feel your skin. Balmy.

The music ends. You and I However, compose a few chords more

The idea of love is restrictive. Can I not also fall in love with my friend’s laugh? Can I not long for conversations with my brother? Can I not wish to see my favorite people daily? When I think of love I think of intimacy Moments shared through vulnerability. Like the time we sang in the car , no matter how bad we were Or how we danced despite our movements being so carefree and jagged I shared these moments that I love with my friends, family, and all those in between I feel so incredibly lonely thinking I’ll only share these moments with one person

I felt alone when I did.
Oh … to be in love is wonderful A level of intimacy only her and I may reach a love unmatched to the others yes

Yet How sad I think it is , if the only person she had to love her was me.

Forget me. Remember my love. Always at your beck and call. Never mind. No one like me exists. Yet another lonely gift

Maybe I wasn’t supposed to end up with you Who didn’t deserve who ? Im not perfect. I just wanted to be worth it.

The pictures in my head show me the truth now. I close my eyes , the trip was a while ago Your space isn’t empty but void of emotion. I was alone in San Francisco.

I don’t wanna feel plain, so from your stare I’ll abstain . I was watering a dead plant, one without need for company A blade of grass in the field of my life. But Your parents were lovely You were supposed to be my friend. What was your name again ?

The exit a lightning strike. Thunder be the pain. I cower inside the rain

I can’t forfeit my desire Doleful, Your affection I no longer inspire Remoteness our reaper, yet we played a part Result: I’ve no more access to your heart I still speak to you in my mind The only intimacy with you I’ll find, What I wish to share I speak softly and true,
In hopes the earth carries my words to you

peace. ? Peace isn’t doing everything for you.
I choose me. I ain’t sorry.
Without me I ain’t doing all these things for you.
How you expect love from a vessel filled with hate Constructed through faith, engaged by the way we all runaway from the problems we can’t face everyday.

Who are you? You ain’t you. You’re grieving from a wound you criticize. Papa ain’t treat me right that’s why I’m traumatized. One man getting all the blame for the shame For being unable to stop the pain.

You’re to blame for the way I treated momma, though she treated me lovely.

I got your face. She couldn’t look at me sometimes. She would yell. I hated those spells. For my sisters and brothers I’m sorry I choose me.

A vessel constructed by hate won’t be the protector you need, The strength in our unity only exists through individuality. You and me and me and you. We can’t bleed onto our family I’m filled with hate.

Running away is all I’ve ever done. I choose me.
Up and downs , left and right, I still end up the same. I choose me. Fuck everybody for being scared of truth, If somebody gonna speak it I choose me.

Correctly guessed, I’ll vent. Growing up I was never what I wanted to be. Family ties deep within my consciousness and self image. I was a faggot for liking the color pink. Thats why y’all thought I liked men I think. The role of a man an enigma in the mind of a vessel polluted by False Kings.
The men in my life made me uncomfortable with all The fall A revolution within ignited by the thin skins of those men Uncles of an older time, your condition , is it purely your crime ?

I learned not to hate , the more I learn about your past the more I realized you were just me with a lot more on your plate. I’m grateful we can talk now. You even got me a pink hat y’all taught me to fish , and how to treat our Queens correctly. A body. A heart made by a woman, raised by a woman Excuse me My mother is a Queen.

We as men have been treated indifferently In our healing. If my brothers can’t come to me in tears then my brothers Don’t know they really like family Let’s make that change.

I wanna another chance. I want to go back and reiterate the decisions I made. This ain’t a play though The film has already been made.
Im not in the lead I’ve been behind for years now I choose me. You don’t live for others Don’t go back to what hurt you the same. You’ve done overcame an immense amount of pain. I choose healing. I choose me.

No yelling this time. I was silent. I didn’t form a fist My hand was stagnant

My love, Ive stopped wishing to feel you. I can’t smell your lilac perfume. Your words, they no longer go through.

Theres no sense in continuing this I’ve forgotten the flavor of your lipstick. All I had left was your image My , How that dried out my vision.

I walked out into the noise. My presence alone would stop it, even for a moment. Now in this forest , I’m but another tree. To live in peace is a virtue I learned to desire. I was once the star that lit up the sky, now I look up to admire them. This is fortune.