I stood and felt it vibrate all around me The city The clatter of pumps on concrete Like typewriter keys So many voices overlapping Conversations merging and twisting into one Vacant faces, lost in thought A sea of color The sidewalk hummed and screamed As a train rushed underneath The speed and power of the uptown 6 Shook the painted shut windows Of the old church nearby A breeze surged up through the grates It was unusually warm It smelled dingy, wet and acrid A sour hot garbage smell that lingered I watched as it rustled the flags That dotted the bar awning It fluttered up pricey Chanel skirts And ruined blow outs For a brief moment there was silence A city silence if you will I took a deep breath and treasured it Feeling the pulse of the city And me connecting As one A car honk shook me back to reality

It walks beside me Creeping along like a cat Rubbing its body against my legs Pressing it’s face into mine Never far from me Depression feels like children screaming From behind dark closed doors Depression is the sneer at bedtime At the mention of silence and peace Depression is eating fast food nearly daily Sitting alone in parking lots Depression is a missing pair of sunglasses Feeling the rush of endorphins Depression is a hug that never ends A kiss that quells your breath entirely The pain in your lower back It walks beside me like a shadow My body a reflection of its effects My heart riddled with holes Pieces of my identity smeared away My mind an echo chamber of lies: Death is the answer There is no relief Failure is my only accomplishment Depression is a mask I wear Depression is a feeling in my soul Depression is me