When I was young,people always told me I would be a heartbreaker. I don’t think this is what they meant… that I would break my own heart over and over again trying to love people who didn’t love me back . The self harm has gotten out of control . I don’t want to be a heartbreaker anymore....

& every year when the anniversary of your death comes around you die

again…

& then another year I slowly die

again…

Every day…

Because you were supposed to be right here with me

And this will never be easy…

When you went down in that grave you took me with you…

I died with you …

& I am a ghost roaming the world feeling alone

Because you were the only place that ever felt like home…...

I’m counting down the days …

Unsure what number day it is on this countdown…

Some days fast… some slow

Some easy…some hard

Some filled will tears…others filled with smiles

Day by day never knowing how much closer I am to day 1…

Day 1 usually signifies a beginning but on this countdown it’s the end…

When I lay my head on my pillow tonight and shut my eyes ..will I see the sun again ?

As I open m...