_Is it just a word? Or just like meat is a word but it’s has many interpretations and meanings. Meat can mean food for someone but for others they avoid. _ __ __ __ _You may want to love but don’t know how, I know how to treat someone with love but how will I find someone who will do the same back for me? And how do I even begin to commit to the act of love. _ __ __ __ _At times I feel like loving and at times I love myself, while at times… I merely wish to be in the background, witnessing other’s love bloom. Reading their stories. Feeling happy for them, it’s hard to describe this feeling but it makes you long for love but fills the satisfaction by seeing loves bloom because you feel unloveable, and are unable to commit to the act of love. _ __ __ __ _A man, a boy, a male… that is all you know about him, yet you call this love? Do you love him or the image of him, the thought of him, the feeling of admiration. But in reality would love not make your heart beat faster, but to the contrary make you feel as if you love yourself as well, and make you feel content and safe? _ __ _How can you love when everyone around you feel like burdens, like they are pressuring you. Like no one can understand you, so you feel lonely… despite the many people that surround around you and care for you. But you feel as if you aren’t loved, your parents love you because you are their kid, your friends because you are their friends, and your pet because you are their owner. Who will even love you for who you are? Is what you feel. _ __ You can’t even accept others love for you, so how can you even love?? It’s conflicting, is love someone who will show u the meaning of the word, or is it just a word. It runs through my head repeatedly- the word had become meaningless.
Near but far, a soothing sound, the waves crash and leave behind a sense of dread. All alone, he has already left, there’s no one around, so my many words are left unsaid.
Warm and caressing, the sun rays tenderly touch, and my skin is so resultany sun-kissed. But then again, sunburns real, the time passes unknowingly as there’s no watch on my wrist.
I watched the seasons turn, as the bright ocean faded to a dreadful nothingness. No sun, a hiding moon, the clouds hide the only sense of light so the day is missed
People are helplessly vulnerable, they are unknowingly closed up creatures… They don’t want to say too much yet they expect people to understand them.
Endlessly giving to those who don’t deserve it, when can she finally be the receiver? Brightening but burning, though her heart is the potion, the core where the desperation stems. He tells her illusions that feed her delusions, and she trusts every words he says. In the end, she gains unreversable issues, tripping her painfully like her untied ballet shoes. But she gets up, and dances beautifully, the faraway observers cannot see through the facade, so her failure seems as if she’s just being stupid.
Eventually a man lifts her from the depths of her sorrows, his name is acts of service, deceiving her through his overly kind demeanour. Instead of fixing her familiar shoes, he gets her expensive new ones, and gradually she becomes the girl that he wants her to be. Dancing on the hypocritical stage he insinuated for her.
A mere puppet she becomes, so he throws her away, and she’s left with a person she doesn’t even recognise anymore; herself. She was free flowing water, and he was a cup, he fed her chocolate powder and she became a new substance, unhealthy and unnatural. She had too much water and had to drain most of it out, In order to mould into the shape of his cup, she experienced a near drought.
A man found her, empty and thirsty and fed her some of his own water, he gave her the touch she needed and physically entertained her. All her firsts was lost to him while she was his sixth, seventh, there’s nowhere to begin. He played with her, his hands were gentle and she melted in his comforting embrace. Aloud she explained that he made her feel safe…. But really, was that truly the case ?
Finally, through all such love languages, she experienced the worst of each, brought to her downfall she cannot rest in her desireful peace.
The soldiers are preparing, for a new clean up at this time. The natural lights of nature have dimmed to leave behind a mere illusion of the sky. Yet, the cold white snow, freezes those right now, squeezing onto their arms as their yellowing teeth clattered to make a chilling sound. It was unknown how long these peopel have been in this warp hole for, where the conditions of the natural law of humans were disobeyed and twisted in this heretical location. The men in red suits screamed above the sound of the piercing wind, they gave out orders and instructions in the hope that they will be able to remove this dangerous object. It seemed to tower over all the small ‘humans’ and the ever growing wind slammed into it and bursted the ear drums of the soldiers. She stood over the array of men, looking down at the large object they had scattered on, pondering what their intentions were with her belongings. A solider looked up, and locked eyes with the floating monster, a muffled sound was made, but was blocked out from the wind, his life ended briefly and no one else had noticed him give in. “organisation of warp cleaning…” She read the badge, as her claws crushed it into millions of frgaments, her home was to be destroyed, and they were going to end her life too. In a sense, what they wanted to do wasnt wrong, as this floating monster was destined to destroy the world. “Kill them, you evil monster, do you not see what the impudent lower beings will do to your cherished home?” A voice rang out, she placed a hand to her ear in pain, wincing her eyes as she screamed out a name, “]>!.¥]>]” the language couldn’t couldn’t be distinguished, yet every soldier below could hear the incomprehensible music. “A MONSTER! She’s here… MEN DRAW YOUR WEAPONS AND COME HERE.” In an instant they surrounded the evil monster, as she floated above the clouds with small wings, her face was young but her body was big. She never imagined she would be caught, she had no backup plan as she was still only a young ‘child’. The clock ticked, a loud boom rang, her home exploded as her tears soon came. She shouted in rage, yet she didn’t want to hurt hundreds humans, the race she envied, yet she was ever so stupidly curious about them. Her body in ashes, though her spur remained, she had killed many humans and this karma was expected and it came. Her ashes scattered through the cold winds, she was carried to a place without her desire. In the end she could’ve destroyed the humans, but she hesitated and still died, with the name of the evil monster.
Shadows of doubt, I can’t think clear The depths of my mind Are anywhere but near.
My cofined blurry vision, Can’t see too far, Yet my goal is to view, Even the furthest stars.
Shaking, breaking, cold sweats forming, It nears, nears, will I last till the morning.
A grasping feeling, can’t even see it, eventually my heart bursts, until then, so be it. The lidded view, a huge taboo, what would happen if I force the star too form soon.
