Black is the color of the night sky peppered with stars that sprinkle the sky. It is the color of mourning when a loved one passes on. It is the color of a shadow that the sun casts on any thing. Black is the cat that walks through the grass. Black is the ink that pens the letter to a loved one. Black is the pencil that draws the artists creation. It is the color of nothing, black holes and antimatter. It is also the flower that creates a bouquet unexpectedly adding beauty to the mix. The shoes that add style and grace to your little black dress that create an amazing night out.
In an embarrassing recollection of a very trying time in my life I think back to the moment in my apartment and the moment when I was so upset and angry with myself that I had walked down the hallway and hit myself on the head seven time and called myself stupid while I did it, no one else needed to call me stupid or dense though I had heard from the world plenty of times that very sentiment, I have heard from the world all the mistakes I had made, I have learned that the world will tell you exactly what you’ve done wrong and how and where you’re lacking- but I have also found out in the world there are many wonderful and amazing things to learn some of those things around the world saved my life. Philosophy and religion are a vast expanse of knowledge with deep wells to discover and many have tried to understand and in traversing it I do not think that any man or woman is able to ever comprehend what is only Gods to know. There are all kinds of smarts in the world and all kinds of intelligence but they are very different, you’re the smartest kind of stupid I think comes in to play when you have this knowledge why sentry you using it or when people bring up common sense. Common sense knowledge I think can vary- what is common to you may not be common to me. For example in Asia there are multiple ways to describe rice, whereas in America only one. And in America we have multiple ways to describe beef/pork or meat and many in cultures on that side of the world do not eat meat or pork at all. Knowledge can be good and it can also be dangerous.
In the world there are many stories of love, novels, movies, all with various stages of love from beginning to end. There isn’t a perfect story or perfect romance but they seem to give off this idea of the perfect idea of one. And a happily ever after, it makes the idea of being in love this enticing thing. But the stages of love and falling in love and staying in love are not a simple or easy thing. The real thing takes two people who want to be in it and if it doesn’t work then knowing when to end it. Knowing when it’s a healthy relationship and not good for either of you or to stay in it just because it’s comfortable. The idea of being in love is a safe way of being in love, it’s like being in love in a book or on a movie, you don’t have to be involved or actually take the risk or put you heart at risk in the relationship, you can safely sit back and watch or read the others without getting hurt- theoretically- how many times have I been triggered by a book or a movie by someone I once had feelings for and as time passed those feelings faded and were no longer triggers. It’s a safe way to be in love. Yet it is also devoid of the real interactions, the real thing that would allow you to experience the good things and yes the bad that comes with a relationship. In essence life. Being in love with the idea of being in love some might even call a cognitive distortion of sorts- regardless live is meant to be lived and not just watched through the window or perhaps in a more current event through the screen.
To be brave isn’t always standing tall in the face of contention. To be brave can be a moment when someone faces their inner darkness and triumphs. Being brave isn’t always a public exposition for all to see. Being brave can be waking up to face the world the next day, taking a chance to love someone, to care. Bravery isn’t always banners and trumpets, it’s facing a darkness and overcoming it. The inner battles when you are alone when the world laughs at you not with you. Bravery is facing them yet again every time because it must be done, because you and only you can pull yourself through the moment, the deepest darkest moments when no one else is around to save you but you. Bravery is continuing on even when the world has told you they don’t want you anymore. Reaching in to find your inner light and being and reminding yourself to look to God in the moments when the negativity seems to drown you- so you look to Heaven and remind yourself that some way somehow your Heavenly Father has pulled you through the deepest pits of hell and can get you through this day too. You are not alone and you are loved. Bravery is loving yourself and everything about you. Bravery is forgivenesses. Bravery is opening a door, a window, your heart once again and letting it heal, love and care for others. Bravery is living life to the fullest and recognizing it as the gift it is. You are alive, you are blessed in so many ways, bravery is the gratitude and grace that go with it all.
In a world of so many the idea of moving on can seem daunting to one and for someone else it’s this simple thing. what once was your world has now become something barely within the grasp of imagination. endings transform into new beginnings. Sorrow, grief, sadness, anger slowly over time turn into tolerance then acceptance, forgiveness. I don’t think these happen with comfort- each heart that carried love for another doesn’t just fade into one devoid of caring for the other. Time is necessary for recovering, healing broken-heartedness albeit heavenly help often is the balm required for completion.
