My “friend” A girl I knew every detail about She would come over frequently We would braid eachothers hair Walk around the block Help eachother with homework Always chose eachother for projects Until she changed, a new version One that left her dearest friend behind One that didn’t care for me I still knew every detail about her.

I felt the old fingers grasp against my hand, they were my grandma’s fingers. She was holding on by a hair. We had gone walking along grandma’s favorite path, the blossom path.

Just thinking about a flower reminded me of my grandmothers natural beauty. It wasn’t all on the outside, it was her inner beauty. She could never be mad or upset at someone, her hearts was too large.

We continued our walk, a cherry blossom tree above us. My grandma desperately out of breath from the walk suggested we sit down on one of the benches. Prepared to let my grandma rest I replied with a yes.

My grandma spoke in our native language and explained how beautiful the tree above us was. She shivered, it was only 50, not too cold for me but cold for my grandma. Wanting to make her comfortable I give her my jacket. She gratefully hugged me.

A cherry blossom petal fell on my grandma’s head, we laughed it off and continued our walk. This was a week ago, my grandma was now dead. I exited the hospital, tears dripping down my eyes.

I run to our path, the blossom path, I sat where we sat before, right under the cherry blossom tree. A petal falls onto my hand, I think, it was my grandma, sending me a message. “I love you too grandma.”

I didnt understand. It was the flash of the moment, I blacked out. Where was I and what was that light? Was the ambulance, was it the police, or was it something worse, something I wasnt aware of.

  21 year old Emerald Smith had gotten into a car crash, a severe one. It was the night of her 21st birthday. Her and her friends that were 21+ all went to the bar to celebrate Emeralds birthday. 


 Emerald had a fine time driving there but coming back, even though she wasnt drunk a car slammed into her. Emerald was rushed to the E.R, she slammed her head across the front glass, she had been losing so much blood but thankfully the doctors were able to stabilize her.

 Emerald thought she was fine and that she would stay alive, that this wasnt the her last night, but as soon as the doctors left the room Emerald fell asleep. Emeralds mom thiught something bad had happened to her but quickly remembered that stabilizing her blood pressure put her through a lot and she would need time to rest.

  Although Emeralds mom listened to the doctors she was right, Emerald had passed away 25 minutes later. It seemed like nothing to Emerald but in her mind she had flashbacks. Flashbacks of the traumatic memory, after those flashbacks it was dark but there was a beeping noise in her mind, there were also red and blue lights, it was the moniter beeping, Emerald had died..

Maria had done her hair and makeup beautifully, something she hadn’t done alot, but tonight was special. She was going out with Joel, a guy she had met online. They’d talk over messages alot and Maria had really liked him. Maria was putting more efort into what she wore and what she looked like today, just for Joel.

Joel had gotten out of bed after laying there for a while. He was nervous, very nervous, what if Maria didnt like him? He was unsure if he even wanted to go on this date. What if Maria didnt like him? That was the thought circling through Joel’s head the whole day.

Joel had began to get ready. Putting on his fanciest suit and tie, and a spritz of cologne. he couldn’t tie his tie though, having his mom come over and tie it for him. Although it was a bit embarrassing he told the story to Maria over text messages, giving her something to laugh at.

Over the cellphone Maria saw the message, she laughed uncontrollably, something she hadn’t done in a while too. It was as if Joel was bringing out another side of her, one that she left in the pass when her father died in an elevator. The elevator cables had been loosely tied together making the elevator fall down multiple stories and kill everyone in the elevator.

Maria was traumatized from this event for life, scared, she didnt know how to carry on with her life after this event. But like everyone, after some time and therapy she let go of that memory. Maria was confused, she hadn’t frlt this feeling ever since her dads accident, she felt love, love from Joel. He was always there for her. Especially when she had harsh memories from her father.

Maria texted Joel for the last time before going outside to his car. “ I need you..”

A pressure to be perfect. Looks don’t matter. Feelings dont matter. The satisfaction of getting an opportunity. If I cant be like you, im a faliure. Getting a B, is like losing a part of me. I’ve failed. Getting a 90%? Not good enough. Why cant I be like my brother. I wish grownups understood. I wish I could enjoy my life. All I have to worry about is getting good grades. Seems like an impossible thing.

I picked up my feet and shuffled them through the snow. I wiped my frozen tears with my cotton grey gloves. “Why?” I asked myself, why did this ever have to happen. My father was on the run, and now I was too. How could I know something like this could have been happening to him? How could I know this is what my life would result to.

I make it through the large snow piles, snow starting to fill my shoes, when I see a lake ahead of me. If I made it past this lake I would be in the city my mom was in. I’d have someone to care for me, someone not like my mentally ill father. I stepped on the lake, hearing cracking below me. “What was that?” I asked myself.

I started to cry, unsure if I wanted to take this risk, hungry, and tired. It felt as if it would be so much easier to go back, to be with my horrible father. To give up on trying to find hope, trying to find my mother.

I needed to eat something, if I didnt find something I would be gone. I walked over to the bush on the side of the lake and saw a few berries still sprouting, they were a bit overipe but it would be better to eat something than eat nothing. I checked the berries to see if they weren’t poisonous, my uncle had taught me how to do so before he passed away. I had loved my uncle so much, but it was his time to go.

My mouth and pocket full of berries I was on the lake again, I couldn’t wait. I could visibly see the sign to the next city coming up, and in excitement I started to jog. A slow jog turned into a run. Crack. That was the last thing I heard before I had fell into the freezing ocean, I tried to fight my way up, get out of the water alive, but it was too late…

Maybe it would have been better to be with my father, a mentally ill man than to die, but to give him the satisfaction of winning, it was better to die.