In this generation “love” doesn’t matter. It’s all about who fucked who, or getting the highest body count. WHAT about making “love” that intimate connection, where both of our naked bodies meet. Skin to skin. Feelings every part that is sacred to us. I don’t want just the naked bodies meetings, I want the late night chats, where we talk for hours about what we want in the future, about us. I want the endless laughs with you. The good and the bad crys. I don’t just want are naked bodies meetings, I want the whole of you.
Wednesday 19th of July 1988
I’m known as the towns “mad scientist”. My passion is building bikes, since I was a kid I can remember playing with my toy bikes and thinking what I could make out of them. I could tell you everything about a bike, from the inside, out. I guess my appearance isn’t that approachable for some people. I wear old clothes all with rips in. I don’t get that much money, I’ve been on sick leave from work for a few weeks now but no one takes the time to know me, they just see someone looking crazy in the streets but actually I struggle with schizophrenia but to them I belong in a “nut home”. I’m just like the rest of you. We just see things differently. We all bleed the same. They just need time to understand me, I’ve got a heart of gold and I don’t mean to harm on anyone.
If you knew it was upsetting, why do it, why lie. Do I not mean more? You only seem to bother with me when you’ve got no one else. I don’t feel heard, I feel little towards you and not just in your height but in the way you make me feel. I want to feel loved, I want to feel like the ground I walk on is heaven at your feet. I’m just disappointed in myself for believing a lair.
For days I’ve been asking for a sign. Asking the spirits around me, what is meant for me. I’m so lost. Stuck in my own head, no one around to help. Feeling lonely in all of this. But one day someone came forward into my dream. Told me everything is gonna be okay and sometimes you have to take risks. Get out your comfort zone. All of it is inside of you, you are bright, beautiful and powerful but just remember magic comes with a price, are you willing to pay? Nothing good is easy.
