“Oh fuck. Oh shit. Oh fuck” I mutter while I’m looking down at the water. What looks like 100 feet from up here is probably only ten realistically. But my dad said he used to go fishing on the beach that’s only like two hundred yards away, and I hate fish. Maybe the fish don’t live near this jetty rock I’m jumping from. Or better yet, maybe someone will jump in before me to scare them all away.
It doesn’t help that my younger sister is antagonizing me. She’s afraid of clowns for Christ sake. Who is she to tease me about being afraid of the deadliest thing in earth - the ocean? There are SHARKS in there. Plus, I’m having a hard time thinking of something else that can sink so many boats with so much ease. I mean I’ve seen The Titanic. And don’t get me started on rip currents.
But I have to do this. Not because I necessarily want to, but because I’ll look like a pussy to those hot girls that already jumped in. Fuckin A. Why’d I have to walk out here?
“Five! Four! Three!” My sister shouts.
“NO FUCKING COUNTING!!” I snap at her, hoping the hotties didn’t hear me. I rip a smile just by the off chance they’re looking at me, just to let them know it’s all good up here.
“Just jump already!”
“I swear to god, Alexa, if you don’t shut the fuck up right now I’ll throw you in with cement shoes.”
“Fine I’ll go” she takes one step and then splashes into the water.
God damnit. Now I’m up here all by myself. And my sister jumped in before me. That fuckin’ bitch.
Ok well I can’t even jump in yet - because I haven’t planned my exit strategy. How am I supposed to jump into a body of water without knowing how I’ll get out? That would be colossally stupid, and I for one am not stupid.
So it looks like the waves might be going horizontally to the beach. Or maybe they’re perpendicular- I can’t really tell from this angle. But I better find out because I once heard that if the waves are going sideways or diagonally, that means there’s a rip current.
I should ask the hotties. That’ll let them know that I think before I act - smart.
“Hey! Excuse me! Would you say the waves are crashing horizontally or perpendicularly to the shoreline?”
“Huh?
“Yeah I’m just making sure there isn’t a rip current! Those things are deadly! But if you were to get caught in one you DON’T want to fight it - just let it take you out to sea and eventually it’ll push you back to land. I know, I know, that’ll go against your natural instinct, but you’ll have to trust me!”
The girls stopped listening.
Fine, their loss.
My sister is starting to swim go shore. That’s not good. Then I’ll be treading water all by myself. If a shark were to come along I will be the only option. At least if she’s still here then my odds will be 50-50 of the shark choosing me.
Ok I better get in the water before I get eaten by a shark.
Let me just check my runway. I need a good long run up to make sure I clear the rocks and the wind doesn’t push me back into this jetty. The wind feels pretty strong.
Ok I have about twenty feet of runway and it all looks clear. But wait. What’s that thing moving?
Shit! It’s a crab! I got pinched by one of those when I was younger and it really hurt! It looks like it’s locked in one me. This is not good. Not good at all. They are amphibious creatures so even if I jump in it could follow me in and then it might even have the upper hand.
“Alexa! There’s a crab up here! And it’s in my runway! What should I do?!”
“Jump in the water you pussy!”
“Yeah I thought of that but then the crab might have the upper hand! They’re amphibious creatures and can probably swim faster than me! I’m in their domain - I’m on their home turf! It probably know this jetty like the back of its’ claw!”
Alexa stopped paying attention to me as soon as she said “pussy”. She is back on land now.
I really don’t know what to do. This is a lose lose situation for me here. I can stay on land and get bit by this crab or jump into the ocean where I’ll probably get eaten by a shark AND bit by this crab.
Wait - what the…
Splash!
I’m knocked into the water from a rogue wave that hit me from behind.
That means the crab is probably in here too. I need to get to land NOW!
I don’t care what my training told me - I don’t care if there’s a rip current or not. I’m swimming straight to shore.
Kick harder, stroke faster, kick harder, stroke faster!
After about fifteen strokes I’m able to stand.
Now I know why they were calling me a pussy.
Driving up a dirt road in a five year old box truck, two men in white shirts and black pants, Drew and Mike, listen to static filled country music on the radio.
They pull up to the site that just 12 hours earlier they were setting up a tent and catering equipment, ready to begin the break-down and pack-up process. However when they arrive, something is a little bit off.
Only two of the plates have been touched. Besides that, the entire venue looks pristine, like a party never happened.
But Drew and Mike know there was a party here - guests started arriving while they were still setting up. And to add to that, there are still fifteen cars parked just to the side of the venue.
“What the fuck man? The party was supposed to end an hour ago. Do we just throw away all this food?” Drew said.
“No, I’m gonna take some home if it hasn’t been touched - ya know, so we’re not wasteful” Mike joked, with the both of them knowing it was so he wouldn’t have to pay for his next two meals.
“Do whatever you want man. I don’t care about the food. But I was supposed to get paid for the remaining balance at the end of their night. If they fuckin left and stiffed us I’m gonna be pissed. “
“Well maybe they just went on a walk. Ya know, the ol’ pre-thanksgiving walk-n-burn.”
“Ok so now we have to go looking for these rich fuckers? I’m not getting paid to do that.”
“Let’s just walk up that hill and see if we can see anybody from up there”
“Fine”
They walk up the hill and look down in the valley on the opposite side. They stand there in silence as they process what they are looking at.
There are ten lifeless bodies laying on the ground about two hundred yards away. Next to the bodies are 4 men and 1 woman, on their knees and bound with rope. Walking behind them are four men in black suits with black shirts. One of them is yelling something that the boys can’t make out. But they can tell that all four men are armed.
The boys lower themselves on the hill to reduce their profile against the light of the dinner venue. They otherwise freeze, physically and verbally.
These two boys in the primes of their lives are utterly terrified - to the point where Drew starts to hyperventilate. Mike takes notice and runs to the truck to grab Drew’s inhaler. Upon returning, worried about his friend, Mike doesn’t duck down like he was before.
200 yards away, 5 prisoners’ pupils start to look past the gunmen - focusing on something in the distance. They can’t communicate with each other or move, so they stare with a hopeful glean in their eyes.
The gunmen take notice when the prisoners change their posture and all seem to be looking at the same thing. They whip their heads around and see the very thing the prisoners hoped they wouldn’t - Drew and Mike.
The gunmen scramble to two black Escalades, all of which the caterers see - and proceed to start sprinting away.
Initially, the two boys just start running. Straight. With no plan. In their minds they honestly believe they can outrun the late-model SUVs accelerating towards them.
“Wait! Where the fuck are we going?!” Mike screams.
“I don’t know but I’m getting far away and hiding. “
“Let’s get back to the truck and go!”
“They’ll be able to catch up to us easily. That thing is slow as shit. We gotta outsmart them. “
After some thinking, the boys devise a plan. They will not only hide, but they will protect themselves if need be. Armed with a pocket knife and all the catering equipment one could ever want, they split up.
Drew would be the decoy at the top of an adjacent hill. Mike would be behind a table, hidden by the long white tablecloth.
When the two trucks get close Mike kills the lights. The sudden lack of light didn’t help the boys as much as they thought, forgetting to account for headlights.
Drew then pretends to be startled when the first truck starts driving towards him. He runs diagonally up the hill and leads the truck blindly over the hill and into a ravine. One down.
The second truck pulls a late turn to avoid the same fate, but in doing so, runs into a large boulder. The crash wasn’t enough to kill the driver and passenger, but it was enough to injure them and cause them to take their time getting out.
During this time, Mike slashes the tires of the second Escalade. Then he and drew throw the little catering flame pucks under the SUV, erupting in flames upon contact.
This gives them enough time to make it back to the box truck and high tail it out if there.
Before they even get off of the road that the venue is on, the guilt of Drew, who is driving, causes him turn around.
“What the fuck are you doing?!” Mike screamed
“We have to get those five people that are tied up. We gotta try”
The wheels lock up when the boys are 15 feet from the prisoners, the momentum slides them within 5.
“Listen, I don’t care what happened. I don’t want to know who any of you or they are. But if you’re alive and want to continue to be alive, get in the back of the truck in the next 15 seconds. “ Mike screamed, almost in a manic state.
The five tied up people hopped to the back of the truck and jumped in.
The truck sped away, leaving a large cloud of dust behind them.
About five miles away, ten police cars come racing past them, undoubtedly heading to where they just came from.
Drew turned to Mike: “I don’t wanna know”
