I’m even more tired today

As things have fallen into disarray

You say that It will pass

But I hope each day will be my last

I’m too tired to keep trying

to be your perfect son...

...

I know why the caged bird sings; for it is for the same reason I continue to write. When there is no longer a point in being here, the last thing you cling to is expression.

Who doesn’t love a dead artist?...

There is not a word spoken, music does not fill the room, we are sounded by nothing but silence and each others arms. The stillness is so pure that I listen to your heartbeat as I feel your chest rise and fall beneath me. Each breath, each moment, we share now with nothing but each other, I fall more and more in love with you.

I wish we could stay in this moment for eternity, it would be ...

“If only you had worked harder, done better, been the person I wished you were. Then maybe you’d deserve better, maybe something could go right for you.But you live a lie with a masquerade mask you’re unable to remove; you’ve fooled everyone but me.”

“You’ve apologized to everyone but me, but even for those people you haven’t changed. How many apologies will you tell with no intention to ch...

“pick up to one fifteen”

I raise my flute to lips

"…one, two, three, and…”

the hall erupts with musics

as I try my best to play along

and to keep up the facade

of all the stories I am told

by those for whom I care

that i deserve to be here

to play among my peers

that I’m better than i think,

than i let myself believe

they don’t understand

I am undeserving of the praise

still, I play along ...

I’ve created a monster

It’s all I can think about

It’s sharp claws haunt me

I’ve stoped eating

I sleep as much as I can

to avoid thinking about it

but still

I can’t get the memory

out of my head

I keep waking up

and not feeling better

I don’t think I can sleep any longer

despite my best efforts I get up

and walk to the washroom

where i know it waits for me,

the monster I’ve created...

As autumn passes

I watch everything around me die

and i slowly grow tired of this constant lie

I can’t light a candle without matches

I can’t keep going, smiling, to all my classes

I’m tired and watch the leaves fly

I find i’m jealous of everything else getting to die

while i’m stuck here as day after day passes

I watch leaves fall

Floating in the wind

flying, looping, and whirling down

As ...

I am standing outside

the chill of the night is sharp against my skin

I stare up at the moon

and the lights polluting the sky,

cars and sirens make music around me

I know millions of people in this city

go about their lives without a thought

and I want nothing more

than to disappear

into the night.

I look back to the moon

as a tear rolls down my cheek

and I go back inside...

I fell asleep

and dreamt such horrible things

that i woke up

wishing it had killed me.

Yet despite that,

I still longed for sleep

if only to get away

from the nothing that I faced

while awake...