Life at time seems electric

Possibilities too many to define

Swipe left, swipe right

Turn to p173 if you trust the goblin

Social media stories started but the middle unwritten

Words flow charming, hilarious

First time photos are beautiful, enigmatic

Heart open, body tuned and toned

But sometimes the electricity dims

Options are defined, limited

Stories are written, only endings remain

Speakers ...

I thought sex was all free flowing

Passion

Minds melting into one

Intuition

Subtle guidance

Waves of control and submission

Spirituality and connectedness

But now doing it properly

According to certified specialists

Is all about intense mechanical communication

Before, during and after

Nothing left to chance

Everyone should know exactly what they want

How they want it

What all the wrong ways a...

If wishes fell like rain, then certainly I am a storm

I spend in the currency of hope

Big Hail Mary passes

‘This time next year Rodney we’ll be millionaires’

I see big changes, never yet materialised, around the corner

I guess something happened when I was younger

A big abandonment

A magical hope of return

Some internalised message that I was defective, different

Turned into a narrative that I wa...

It took 36 years to realised I’m scared

I live fearfully

Fearing failure

Fearing rejection

I used to think of it as vigilance

Heightened awareness of danger

But it is more

I read that fear is the mind killer

The little death that brings total obliteration

So I will face my fear

Head on

Fight it

With courage

To not be cowered by fear of

Being despised

Suffering rebuke

Being birsmirched

Forgotten o...

Sunday, 2nd July

Something happened in a field

In North London

Two old foes

England and Australia

Fought in the gladiatorial field of old

Cricket

One side arrived to win at all costs

Competitive, ruthless

Every margin

Every opportunity to be exploited

Regardless the cost to limbs

Body and mind

Regardless the cost to convention

Grey areas of fairness

And, yes, in the past, flat out cheating.

With...

Woken

Xcited loins, No time

Yawn

Zero hour, the day of the captive human begins...

One day I will achieve something

Something I’m proud of

I won’t have that feeling of relief

Or ok, but I could have done it better

Or earlier

Or differently

No ‘I can’t celebrate this now’

Or ‘oh that - that’s a work in progress’

But something that will allow me

To feel unashamedly proud

That I fearlessly broadcast aloud

One day soon

That’s my commitment to me...

It’s continuous now

Work

iPhone, laptop,

Headphones,

Car stereo

Desktop

On the train

In the park

In office

Home and away

That’s bad enough

Then there’s interoperability

That subtle thing

About how technology talks

To each other

Expected to work without

Subtle language, empathy, power

Just co-operate to get things done

And when it doesn’t quite work

It can bring a grown man to tears

Thinking about...

It was sad

I was sad

Not any more

But seeing someone so close die

Even though it was their time

Does sow the seeds of sorrow

Not a full harvest

A vegetable patch

That you need to tend to

Lest it be forgotten...

You know the type

That metronomic, mechanistic

Productive type

Day-in, day-out

Turns up, gets stuff done

How do I become that?

I’be slipped into a rhythm for a few hours

Had a good fortnight

But then it goes

Boredom, procrastination

Unfocussed, fuck the man

Who cares, manic output,

I’m a hero, can’t be arsed,

Who am I?

And all of that before 9am

I guess some people have it

And others well kind o...